Listening Heart

Invitation

2012-01-30T08:29:00.000-05:00

As I was reading about Jesus cooking fish for the disciples after His resurrection, I asked Him, "What is Your invitation to me?"

Come have breakfast with Me, everyday. Receive what I have prepared for you, sustainanace, meat and bread, manna for your soul. I've gone ahead of you and prepared it - it is waiting for your arrival.
Look for me in surprising places, places you do'nt expect to see me, (yes, go on a God Hunt) and you'll be blessed.
Leave your "work" to companion with Me throughout your day. You'll go back to your owkr but take little moments to be with me. I desire your presence with Me, your awareness of Me. That creates intimacy with me. Walking with Me is one of those times
Lunch with Me too - it 's a good time to read "other" books that I can speak to you through that you might not have time for during your morning time with Me
I want you to delight in Me, in My company with you. I will prepare moments and call you away to Me. Remember those are priority moments that will keep me as the first ting in your life.
Eat small . . . let Me fill you to fullness.

Jesus, how I love You, love the way You always speak to me whenever I come to You and ask "what's up?" I pray I will come to You more throughout my day.

52 Books

2012-01-05T10:25:00.000-05:00

Books I Read in 2011

Spiritual Mentoring Anderson and Reese

Her Daughter’s Dream FrancineRivers

Preparing for Jesus WalterWangerin

Dream, Visions, Prophecy JohnPaul Jackson ontape

Sarah’s Key Titianade Rosnay

Epic JohnEldredge

Swan House ElizabethMusser

Seeking God Together AliceFryling

Romancing Miss Bonte’ JulieGael on CD

Small As An Elephant JP Jacobson

Safe Haven NicolasSparks

Snowflower and the Secret Fan Lisa See onCD

The Time of My Life PatrickSwazey on CD

Reliving the Passion WalterWangerin

Contemplating the Cross TriciaRhodes McCary

Jesus Calling SarahYoung 6th time

Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand BarbaraSimonson

School of Essential Ingredients Erica Bauermeister on CD

Quiet in His Presence JanHarris

The Mountain Between Us CharlesMartin

Hunger Games SuzanneCollins

Coming Home to Your True Self Albert Haas

The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society Shafer/Barrows

A Good Life RobertBenson

The Beach Trees KarenWhite

Bel Canto AnnPatchett on CD

Joy for Beginners EricaBauermeister

The Hawk and the Dove PenelopeWilcock

One Summer DavidBaldacci

In Constant Prayer RobertBenson

Catching Fire SuzanneCollins on CD

Cloud of Unknowing Anonymous

A Tale of Three Kings GeneEdwards

The Touch RandallWallace

Mockingjay SuzanneCollins on CD

Searching for Eternity ElizabethMusser

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Peter Scazzero

A Thousand Splendid Suns KHosseini

Life In Spite of Me KristinAnderson

A Million Miles in 1000 Years Donald Miller

One Thousand Gifts AnnVoskamp

Beautiful Boy DavidSheff on CD

Still Alice LisaGenova on CD

Words Unspoken ElizabethMusser

Lost December RichardPaul Evans

Promise Me RichardPaul Evans on CD

Spiritual Disciplines Devotional Valerie Hess

Surprised by Oxford Carolyn Weber

Christ the Lord: Road to Cana Anne Rice onCD

Home for Christmas AndrewGreenley

Preparing for Christmas RichardRohr

Language of Letting Go MelodyBeattie

Guest Post

2012-01-05T10:03:00.002-05:00

This is a guest post by my friend Angela. She is sharing about her experience at my Advent Retreat. Deitra

Anticipation

Each year when Christmas is over I think about how much I wish I had been more focused on preparing my heart throughout the Advent season instead of getting caught up in all the crazy hustle and bustle that Christmas has become. The parties are great, the gift giving is nice and thoughtful, being with family is the best but through it all I feel like every year my thoughts are anything but centered around Christ and how the significance of his birth and entrance into this world can truly, continually change my life. So this year, instead of simply wishing my heart were more focused on Jesus, I decided to actually do something about it. This sweet lady, Deitra, has become a dear friend of mine throughout the last year and a half since I met her and have had the privilege to be mentored and receive some much needed spiritual direction from her.

Almost every month she holds day-long retreats at her house, each centered around a different theme. In July I signed up for her Advent retreat scheduled for the first week of December and eagerly anticipated this day, knowing that it would be just the springboard my heart would need to cultivate the deeper focus I long for. The day came and went and I was NOT disappointed. Every time I go to her house, whether for one of her retreats or for one of her study groups I used to be a part of, I ALWAYS come away refreshed and feeling closer to the Lord. I knew that God would have something special in store for me during this Advent retreat. He did! At the beginning she passed around a basket of rocks, each with a word written on it. We were instructed to pick a rock without looking at the word. My word was Anticipation. How ironic....as i was attempting to focus more on anticipating the coming of Christ while also anticipating the arrival of our second child. She gave us a folder of materials, showed us a stash of Advent related books, and set us free to go into any room in her home for some solitude. The first chapter of the book I chose to look at "just happened" to be titled Anticipation. Hmmmm....must be a concept I really need to unpack and contemplate. So i did just that for the next 3 hours. It was a beautiful, peaceful time that set the tone for the weeks remaining leading up to Jesus' birth. One of the pieces of material she gave us in our folder encouraged us to write a Cinquain: a simple structured form of poetry which encourages you to get to the heart of what you are experiencing in just a few words. I am no literary genius and certainly not anything close to a poet so I wondered what I might possibly come up with but decided to give this cinquain thing a try. It was to be 5 lines and there were instructions about how many words or how to structure the phrase for each specific line. I sat with my word (Anticipation) for quite a while, contemplating it and its special significance in my life write now as I prayed and read through my Bible and some other materials. I came up with a long list of words or phrases that came to me when I thought of Anticipation, and then I narrowed it all down into my Cinquain:

ANTICIPATION:
Peaceful Unhurried
Savoring, Beholding, Waiting
Eagerly Expect, Prayerfully Rejoice
Readiness

To you it may just be a mumble jumble of words, and that's ok. To me its a picture, a reminder of what I wanted these weeks leading up to Christmas to be like, as well as the weeks leading up to the arrival of the little one growing inside me.

Jesus is . . .

2011-12-09T07:27:00.001-05:00

... my Savior and Lord.
...the way, the truth, the life.
...the light of the world.
...the only way to the Father.
...the door, gate, bread of life, true vine.
...Messiah.
...Son of God, Son of man.
...created everything alongside God.
...born of a virgin, crucified, died, buried, rose on third say, ascended to Heaven, sits at God's right hand, intercedes for me/us.
...canceled my certificate of debt, nailed it to the cross.
...forgives all my sin and sins, past, present, future.
...was/is sinless.
...exchanged His righteous robes for my unrighteous rags.
...is a propitiation for sin.
...is the Prince of Peace.
...is the sacrificial passover lamb.
...is my High Priest.
...was tempted like me but did not sin.
...is all and is in all.
...is the exact representation of God.
...is God in the flesh.
...learned obedience through the things he suffered.
...existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation.
...holds all thing (in creation) together.
...is the head of the church, His body.
...is the beginning.
...is first in everything.
...reconciled all things to Himself.
...is the Good News.
...fulfills the Law.
...proved He was the Son of God when He rose from the dead and ascended to Heaven never more to die.

Celebrate Jesus this Christmas for who He is!

Christmas Through the Eyes of a Bystander

2011-12-04T10:34:00.001-05:00

So many strange occurrences in Bethlehem lately. First Herod decides to take a census but makes it difficult for everyone because He requires them to return to the city of their ancestors . Nothing like keeping his thumb of control on all of us "peasants." So there have been throngs of people flooding our sleepy little town. So many that the 'no vacancies' signs have been put in all the inn windows. Visitors had to scrounge around to find a place to lay their heads. Some even wound up sleeping in the stables with the livestock! At least they were out of the frosty dew that settled on those less fortunate.

A few nights ago I saw this spectacularly huge star in the sky. Some say it was a comet. It blazed across the dark night sky lighting up the heavens like no one has ever seen before. Then it seemed to linger on one particular place for several days, when as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone. The more superstitious of the townfolk said it was a sign from God, but what could a huge star mean?

About the same time, some shepherds from the outskirts of town rushed in with great excitement, sharing with everyone what they had experienced. Personally I think they were imbibing in too much wine, but they swear they heard the most glorious sound in the sky about same time as that star appeared. They saw ghostly images, hundreds of them. They "said" they were angels, supposedly telling them to visit a baby in a feeding trough. Now tell me, who in the world is crazy enough to believe you will find a baby in a stable, no less in an animal's feeding trough! But I guess those heavenly hosts were convincing enough because those shepherds left their flock (unheard of) and ran into town. Lo, and behold, after searching several stables they noticed that brilliant star shining down on a stable at the far end of town and when they arrived, there was a brand spanking new babe wrapped in some cloths and he was actually lying in a manger! The funny thing was that according to the angels, this wasn't just any baby, but this baby boy was the Messiah, the One Israel has been waiting for - the Savior - which I guess means the one who would save us from the evil rulership of King Herod and Rome. He's a mighty special baby if that is who he really is. But how strange that this would-be king was born in such a strange way and in such a strange place.

I'll be keeping my eye on this one - see how he grows up and what happens with him. We sure could use a Savior right about now. But I'm guessin' I'll be having to wait a few years before we see any saving going on, since he's just a baby. I'm not sure what I believe, but those shepherds sure were convinced. Those angels made believers out of them for sure. I've never seen such a thing, but as they went back to their flocks, they were singing and even dancing a jig, big smiles on their faces as if something miraculous just took place. They were even praising the name of God, quite the contrary to what usually comes out of their mouths about God. Like I said, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what's gonna happen.

Hmm, I think there is a word for that - waiting to see what's to come - is it Advent?

You are blessed!

2011-12-01T07:17:00.001-05:00

Luke 1:45
You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what He said.

I have never seen that before, that Mary was blessed because she believed that God would do what He said He would do - the impossible! I've always thought Mary was blessed because she was the mother of Jesus and how that was unique only to her. Because of that she was elevated to a place I couldn't relate to. But now I see that we can all be as blessed as Mary if we will just believe God when He tells us He will do the impossible in our lives too!

But wait! We CAN be like Mary, a dwelling place for the Lord Jesus, not in our wombs but in our hearts. We need to say yes as Mary did to allow the Holy Spirit to come inside us and "impregnate" us with Jesus in our hearts as we first see our need for a Savior and invite Jesus into our hearts and as we daily surrender our will to the will of God. Thy Kingdom come! My Kingdom go! on THIS earth as it is in Heaven.

Ponder this as you journey s-l-o-w-l-y through this sacred Advent season.

His Colors

2011-11-11T13:05:00.001-05:00

I am reading through my last year's journal and came upon this entry that once again spoke to my heart.

You take for granted the beautiful, rich, vibrant colors of the autumn trees because you have seen them year after year for so many years. But think of the miracle that you are looking at! How can a green leaf on a tree actually turn a totally different color around the same time every year? Not all trees turn the same color! There is an infinite variety of fall colors that I have created. You are viewing one of My gifts of beauty that reflects the beauty of who I AM. Enjoy the colors because I created these just for your pleasure and delight. And to give you another way to know Me more. Never take Me or My Beauty for granted. Romans 1:20 NLT Though everything God made, you can clearly see His invisible qualities, His eternal power and divine nature (in nature!). So no one has an excuse for not knowing God. Here's another version:
The basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse. The Message

Enjoy God's glorious colors on display for us to see and delight in today!

His Imprint

2011-10-13T12:57:00.001-04:00

My life is like sealing wax. If I do not allow the fire to often me, I will not be able to receive God's imprint and be molded into His image. The press on hard wax will grind it to powder. (paraphrased from Thomas Merton)

The New Day

2011-09-20T11:00:00.000-04:00

The beauty of the new day greets me, smiling
Coolness even though August
and He awaits my company
Heart delighting, smiling
as I come to meet my God . . .
Precious moments are these few
never enough, always fulfilling
spilling into me, out of me into the day ---
solitude and serene.
The babbling brook reminding me
Streams of Living Water live in me
IN ME! I cannot take it in -
His gift to me is He, Himself
within my very flesh
so I am not alone.
"My Delight," He smiles into my heart.
"My Delight," I echo to His heart.
Union.

Fear Criticism? Why avoid it?

2011-09-20T10:57:00.000-04:00

Recently I was challenged to reframe criticism from rejection to growth opportunity.Criticism can be . . .a new perspective on what I haven't seen before that could help me grow into who God wants me to be . . .shared because someone loves me and wants the best for me (even if their approach could use a little help!) . . .uncovering my blind-spots . . . a nugget of truth in every criticism even if the criticism is not totally true . . . used by God to help me release pride and grow in humility . . .makes me approachable if I'm open to it.Can you see any other way to reframe criticism to help you grow?Give it a try next time you encounter the pointed finger in your face.

Invitation from God

2011-09-17T08:51:00.003-04:00

What party is that? The BEST party you would EVER want to experience, one where you get the best presents, the ones you always wanted and ones that fulfill your every desire and wish. Where is this incredible party you ask? Heaven! Here's how I picture this party to look like for me, maybe for you . . .

The party begins the moment the angels close my eyes on this earth for the last time. Then the adventure begins. I get a special escort; angels will be on either side of me; when I arrive at the Celestial City and open the door (is it really an actual pearl gate? who knew?)I hear an excited and celebratory "SURPRISE!"
Every friend, every family member even some I don't know who have gone on before me will be there to celebrate my entrance to the Party. Streamers, confetti, celebration, music, a feast greet me!!!! Then my brother, Jesus, is standing in front of me, smiling, saying "I couldn't wait for you to get here!" He puts His brotherly arm around my shoulder and hugs me tightly. Then he places an exquisite jeweled crown on my head. I can't believe my eyes. He tells me that every burden, every trial, every affliction that I embraced for His sake has turned into a unique sparkling jewel that was place in my crown, made especially for me, no two crowns alike. I turn right around and take the crown from my head and present it to Jesus saying "It was all YOU! You deserve this crown." He graciously receives it from my hand and thanks me with a smile that warms to the deepest place in my heart.

I realize this is like the best surprise party I never had on earth, only a million times better because there are surprises awaiting me that are beyond my wildest imagination.

Now Jesus walks by my side as escorts me into the Presence of the King, my Dad, Papa. God enfolds me in His arms and I realize this is what I was made for and I never want to be anywhere else. Oh the joy, contentment, excitement, abundance! Every good feeling that I'd ever hoped to experience, I will experience in that moment. And the good news is this Party never ends! The focus may change but it is an ongoing Party nevertheless and one that continues into infinity and beyond!

By the way, you are invited; Are you coming? Oh how I hope so. If I get there before you, I want to see your face when you open the door and I yell, "SURPRISE!" and give you a huge hug and we get to experience your homecoming together with exceeding joy. For "in His Presence is fullness of joy." Ps 16:11

This party is really not that far away . . . I can't wait! How about you?

2011-08-20T08:12:00.004-04:00

As I think about the good, the bad and the ugly in my story, I see the good as the blessings of God, the bad as the trials and sufferings I've experienced from those who have sinned against me as well as just because that is how life on this side of eternity. But the ugly . . . the ugly is how I have sinned against others, the parts of me I avoid looking at because, well, they are UGLY! Attached to the ugliness is much shame and condemnation, so not only do I unconsciously avoid going there, I realize that I've buried my uglies deep in my soul. Yet because they are still there, a part of me, the pride part of me, has to prove to myself "I'm really not THAT bad" and so I choose to focus on my goodness and wind up hiding a part of my story that God wants to heal.
So God begins to put his Holy Spirit spotlight on the basement of my soul to focus on my ugly . . . and it hurts and feels so shameful I want to hide even deeper in my darkness. Then by His every so gentle grace, He reminds me, "Confess your sins to one another and be healed." (James 5:16) He offers me healing, NOT condemnation, but mercy. The catch is I have to reveal my ugly to another, risk being vulnerable and rejected, bring the dark into the light, to receive the healing. God in His gentleness reminds me that He allowed His Son to experience and suffer MY shame on the cross so I wouldn't have to. He invites me to confess so I can be healed and free of the condemnation that holds me captive. That what awaits me is not what the Accuser speaks, rejection, but freedom, freedom from my false self which tries to prove I'm okay without God and looks to other 'things' to meet a need that only He can fill. Freedom to live into my true self, that person God originally created me to be in union with Him.

As I confess my sin to another trusted friend who loves me, all of me, the good, the bad and the ugly, I receive the healing that dissolves the shame and bring an overwhelming gratefulness to God for His extravagant love toward this sinner turned saint, not though my efforts but through His amazing grace.

I'm reminded of the story Jesus told abut the woman who had been forgiven much, loved much. (Luke 7:47). Because my sins were so great and God freely and joyfully forgave them and me, it makes my love for Him so much greater. The greater the sin, the greater the debt paid and the greater gratitude and love there is in my heart. If my debt was $1000 and He paid it, I would be grateful. But because my debt felt more like $1,000,000, my grateful love reflects that exponentially.

Sacred Echo

2011-07-12T08:37:00.004-04:00

I love when God repeats himself to me, I call it a Sacred Echo (taken from Margaret Feinberg's book by the same title, one I highly recommend). It is as if He doesn't want me to miss what He is saying to me, something He deems important enough to say again, just so I don't miss the impact.

It happened this morning. I was reading in Spiritual Disciplines Devotional by Valerie Hess, talking about the discipline of submission (ugh, none of us want to submit, do we?) I like to think of it as the discipline of surrender (to God). That sits better with me. Since my "signature sin" is pride, (thinking I can do it on my own without God or forever learning to take my "God coat" off and not try to fix people or situations to be happy, comfortable or in harmony with me), my ears always perk up when i hear the word "humility." Hess says, "The discipline of submission is also the best route to a spirit of true humility... the root word of humble gives us the word humus or earth.
In the discipline of submission we become so firmly rooted in the soil of God's love that we are able to live in an attitude of service and humility, full of joy and peace. We know who we are and we can let others be who they are. There is no envy or competition; we have nothing to prove because Jesus has proven it all for us in His death and resurrection." Letting others be who they are were the exact words I've written in my journal, asking God to help me LET GO of my expectations and agendas for people and accept them for who they are and truly be okay with that. So those words jumped off the page to me. And God was giving me a glimpse of HOW to do that: be humble.

Then I picked up Ann Voskamp's book, 1000 Gifts, which, if you haven't read it, you MUST! A life changer of a read. The exact same words about humility grabbed my attention:"The word humility comes from the Latin word, humus: the kind of earth that grows good crops. God gives the earth to humus people (Matt 5:5 Blessed are the humble for they shall inherit the earth). Humility is that good humus that grows gratitude that yield abundant joy." Then I read this quote by GBF Hallock: "I used to think that God's gifts were on shelves one above the other and that the taller we grew in Christian character the easier we should reach them. I find now that God's gifts are on shelves one beneath the other, and that it is not a question of growing taller but of stooping lower and that we have to go down, always down, to get His best gifts."

Kind of like Jesus stooping to wash the feet of the disciples. They should have been washing HIS feet, but He humbled himself, taking the form of a bond servant instead of grasping for His rightful place as God, He chose to submit to His disciples. It is called "the way of the towel."

Lord, help me to humble myself and be willing to walk the way of the towel.

Listen, be aware and you, too, may hear His sacred echo... it's worth listening for.

Harmony

2011-05-12T07:17:00.000-04:00

I want harmony with the people in my life. As I think about this, a musical harmony is two different musical lines which, when put together, complement each other. They're not the same but they sound good together and it works to make the song more melodious. This is the kind of harmony I desire. Me being me and me allowing, accepting, even appreciating them being them. Different but together we make a sweeter song.

"All the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of Jesus' death, his blood that poured down from the cross." Col 1:20 MSG

God is my Island Hideaway

2011-03-08T07:42:00.002-05:00

I love the picture this gives my mind: tropical breezes, sunny days but not too hot, total relaxation, getting away from the stress and strain of everyday life, just hanging out with the One I love and the One who adores me. "God-addirmers find themselves loved every time they turn around. Celebrate God!"
I celebrate the joy You bring to my heart when i dwell in Your Presence on our island hideaway, a place I can go to any time of day with You!

Psalm 32 the message

1 Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start,
your slate's wiped clean.

2 Count yourself lucky—
God holds nothing against you
and you're holding nothing back from him.

3 When I kept it all inside,
my bones turned to powder,
my words became daylong groans.

4 The pressure never let up;
all the juices of my life dried up.

5 Then I let it all out;
I said, "I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God."

Suddenly the pressure was gone—
my guilt dissolved,
my sin disappeared.

6 These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray;
when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts
we'll be on high ground, untouched.

7 God's my island hideaway,
keeps danger far from the shore,
throws garlands of hosannas around my neck.

8 Let me give you some good advice;
I'm looking you in the eye
and giving it to you straight:

9 "Don't be ornery like a horse or mule
that needs bit and bridle
to stay on track."

10 God-defiers are always in trouble;
God-affirmers find themselves loved
every time they turn around.

11 Celebrate God.
Sing together—everyone!
All you honest hearts, raise the roof!

LIfe . . . one moment at a time

2011-01-24T09:53:00.002-05:00

Art Journaling

2011-01-16T14:26:00.004-05:00

The other day I watched one of my all time favorite movies: Les Miserables with Liam Neesom. I am always deeply touched by how a pair of silver candelabra and one man's extravagant forgiveness transform another depraved (like mine) man's life. So many similarities to Jesus in this movie and how powerful grace and mercy and sacrificial love can be. I was so moved that I wanted to journal about my feelings and decided to do an art journaling page, the one you see above. It was a great way for me to capture my heart on page.

Bloggers Prayer

2011-01-12T10:18:00.003-05:00

I am no longer my own blogger, but Thine, O Lord.

Refine me with each post how You will, rank me how You will.
Put me to service, or put me to suffering.
Let me post for Thee or be put aside for Thee,
Lifted high, only for Thee, or brought low, all for Thee.
Do with me and each post whatever you will, because You alone know best.

Let me not strive but submit Let me not compete but care
Let me not desire hits but holiness
Let me be a follower, instead of seeking followers.

Let my blog be full of Thee, and let it be empty of me.
Let me crave all things of Thee, let me care nothing of this world.
Let my words be worthy of the greatest of audiences: You.
And You are enough.

May I write not for subscribers… but only for Thy smile.
May my daily affirmation be in the surety of my atonement,
not the size of my audience.
May my identity be in the innumerable graces of Christ,
never, God forbid, the numbers of my comments.
May the only words that matter in my life not be the ones I write on a screen ---
but the ones I live with my skin.

I freely and heartily yield every sentence, every title, every post, every comment… or no comments… all to Thine pleasure and perfect will.

My only fame is that I bear Your name
My only glory is the gift of Your Grace
My only readership, Your eyes that seek to and fro to find a heart hard after You.
Make this so, oh Lord…

Yahweh, You alone are my God, not Google
Jesus, You alone are my Savior, not site meters
And Holy Spirit, You alone are my Comforter, not comments

So be it, today, yesterday, and every post to come.

This is my prayer I have made on earth and over this keyboard… let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.

Copyright 2010, Ann Voskamp @ www.aholyexperience.com All rights reserved. Please do not copy, paste text or reprint.

Books, books, books

2011-01-05T23:30:00.002-05:00

I LOVE to read!
Here are the top 5 books I've read this year and would highly recommend!
1. To Be Told: Dan Allender
2. The Help: Katherine Stockett
3. Walking with God: John Eldredge
4. The Me I Want to Be: John Ortberg
5. A Deeper Journey: Robert Mulholland Jr

Here's a list of all the books I completed in 2010.
January
The Shack: William P Young CD
Gift of the Red Bird: Paula D’Arcy
Sam’s Letters to Jennifer: James Patterson

February
Where the River Ends: Charles Martin
Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane: Kate DiCamillo
The Blue Book: Jim Branch
Divine Embrace: Ken Gire
Remember to Forget: Deborah Raney

March
Handle with Care: Jodi Picoult
Peace like a River: Leif Enger (CD)
The Last Song: Nicolas Sparks

April
The Organic God: Margaret Feinberg
Digging In: Robert Benson
Nice Girls Don’t Change the World: Lynne Hybels
The Host: Stephanie Meyer
Walking with God: John Eldredge

May
29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life: Cami Walker
When Crickets Cry: Charles Martin
Life of the Beloved: Henri Nouwen
Fresh Brewed Life: Nicole Johnson
An Altitude of Change: Anita Shreve
Messenger: Lois Lowry
Dropping Your Rock: Nicole Johnson

June
The File: Anita Keaggy
His Perfuming Process: Loretta Willis
The Lightning Thief: Rick Riorden

July
Idol Eyes: Mandisa Hundley
The Music of Dolphins: Karen Hesse
To Be Told: Dan Allender

August
In a Heartbeat: Leigh Anne & Sean Tuohy
The Help: Katherine Stockett CD
The Year of Magical Thinking: Joan Didion

September
Driftwood Summer: Patti Callahan Henry
The Cradle: Patrick Somerville
The Me I Want to Be: John Ortberg
The Boy Who Came Back from Heaven: Kevin & Alex Malarky
Second Short Life of Bree Tanner: Stephanie Meyer CD
The Dead Don’t Dance: Charles Martin

October
The Summons: John Grishem CD
Gossamer: Lois Lowry CD
New Set of Eyes: Paula D’arcy

November
Song for Sarah: Paula D’arcy
Her Mother’s Hope: Francine Rivers
Choosing to See: Mary Beth Chapman
Little Bee: Chris Cleave CD
A Deeper Journey: Robert Mulholland Jr

December
Christmas Jar: Jason F Wright
Maggie: Charles Martin
Christmas on Jane Street: Billy Romp
God is in the Manger: Dietrich Bonhoffer

January 2011
Spiritual Mentoring: Anderson & Reese
Her Daughter’s Dream: Francine Rivers

Advent books in my quiet time basket

2010-12-04T08:16:00.008-05:00

Simply Wait: Cultivating Stillness in the Season of Advent
Pamela C Hawkins
Simple but powerful, really love this one!
"Enter these pages, savor the words they hold out to you, and you
will experience deep quietude and welcoming spaciousness."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Preparing for Jesus: Meditations on the Coming of Christ, Advent, Christmas and the Kingdom
Walter Wangerin Jr.
His devotionals have depth and grant fresh insight into the all too often taken for granted Christmas story.
He has a "wonderful way of rendering biblical truths in completely new and novel ways, making those truths come alive in emotions, stories, and images."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

God Is in the Manger: Reflections on Advent and Christmas Dietrich Bonhoeffer
To read Bonhoeffer's perspective of the goodness of God while he awaits execution in a Nazi prison camp is riveting.
"These stirring words are among forty devotions that guide and inspire readers as they move thematically through the weeks of Advent and Christmas, from waiting and mystery to redemption, incarnation, and joy. Supplemented by an informative introduction, short excerpts from Bonhoeffer's letters, and passages from his Christmas sermons, these daily devotions are timeless and moving reminders of the true gift of Christmas."

All quotes from amazon.com editorial reviews
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Jesse Tree Advent Devotional Book
Saving the best for last!
I love this devotional! It is FREE by a downloadable link on this site:
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/11/free-jesse-tree-advent-devotional-book/
which is worth checking out and reading even if you don't download the devotional.

I had never heard of a Jesse Tree but it is an ancient Advent tradition where each day focuses on Jesus from stories in the Old Testament! This book offers ornaments to copy and put on a Jesse Tree.
from the site: * The full Bible text of the day’s reading in either NCV or NIV (of course, feel free to read from your own Bible, if you’d prefer another translation.) Readings are selected to begin in Genesis and cover significant events throughout the Old Testament — each story pointing to the coming Messiah. It’s like an overview of the whole span of His Story — leading right up to the climax of the coming Christ!
* A devotional that (humbly attempts!) to be a read-aloud for the whole family – engaging enough for young children and yet meaty enough for teens and adults. (Thank you for grace!) Each reflection endeavors to not only highlight an important scene from God’s epic in time, but to always unwrap more of Jesus, the gift hidden in every story.
* a short, simple action point for the day — “Unwrapping more of His love in the World” — a way to do something together as a family that not only invites the coming Kingdom of God and Jesus’ love into your home and community, but is an opportunity to apply and live out the day’s devotional. It’s like an Advent Calendar that gives back – becoming more like the gift Himself!
* a full color ornament, illustrated by Nancy Rodden and used with permission, to hang on your own Jesse Tree. The very last pages of the book include all of the ornaments in over several pages so you can easily cut each ornament out and creatively mount to your own preferences

So now choose ONE or more and jump right in to make this Advent the best yet!

What door will you walk through?

2010-11-30T07:34:00.002-05:00

We have many choices in a day, which way will we "go", which door will we walk through. I want to walk through the door that leads to life and that door always means aligning myself with God. Did you know that just being in His Presence brings about transformation? And that His desire for you is to become the me you were meant to be from before the foundation of the earth, which is your true self?

Here are a couple quotes that speak that truth.
Enable me to be open to Your transforming Presence.
from the Blue Book pg 312 Jim Branch

Transformation means recovering the life you are given in God.
from Journaling as a Spiritual Practice pg 44 Helen Cepero

Your true self . . .
I love that just being in Your Presence, God/Papa, is transforming - not doing anything but being, abiding . . a powerful motivator for keeping company with You, Jesus, throughout my day.
Will I choose to be who You intended for me to be . . . or not? I have a choice - if I align myself with You and Your will for me, I can become my true self. O glorious day when that becomes a full reality in my life.

Waxing Leaves

2010-11-22T09:06:00.002-05:00

Here is an easy and fun idea to do with your kids this fall.Just click on the link waxing leaves!
Waxing Leaves
Enjoy!

Feed Yourself with Positive Mental Nutrition

2010-11-06T10:22:00.004-04:00

I'm reading through my last year's journal and came across this entry today from The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Thomas and thought it was worth posting.

Habit#1: You attract into your life the people, ideas and circumstances that correspond with your habitual thinking. And three years from now, your family life, health, relationships and finances will reflect what you have been feeding yourself. You become what you think most about.

Habit#2:Start the Day with Joy
15 minutes each morning = 7.5 hours in the first 30 days alone!
If you say I don't have time for a quiet time with God, ask yourself "What could I possibly do with that time that would bring me any greater benefit?" Minutes invested in praying for wisdom will save days spent in overcoming mistakes. To advance in joy, first retreat with God.

Habit#3: Seal the Day with Joy
What gets impressed in your heart gets expressed in your circumstances. What do you think about or read or watch on TV right before you go to sleep?

The wilderness becomes a lush pasture . . .

2010-09-16T10:08:00.004-04:00

Psalm 65:12
The grasslands of the wilderness becomes a lush pasture.

Even a wilderness place can become a place where you can be fed and nurtured. Why? Because I AM with you, My Presence with you makes even the driest wilderness lush. How? Because like I've told you, in My Presence is fullness of joy; (Ps 16:11) You come sweeping in from the desert on the arm of your Beloved. (Song of Solomon 8:5)
It is in the desert that you find Me to be all you need and more. I carry you through the wilderness as a Father carries his son close to His heart. (Deut 1:31)I provide for you in the wilderness, manna, water, quail, clothes and shoes that don't wear out. Dependence on Me is a beautiful thing and it oftentimes happens in the wilderness. The poor in spirit find the Kingdom of God. Rejoice in your wilderness because it is there that you will find Me. It is there I will show you who you are and whose you are. You will be tested but not to break you but to prove your character, just like happened with Jesus in the wilderness. Be one with Me and allow me to nurture you in your wilderness.

Do you need to know you are loved?

2010-09-01T07:40:00.001-04:00

Ransomed Heart devotional by John Eldredge
Wednesday, September 01, 2010

A True Father
Jesus kept coming back to this central issue, over and over, driving at it in his teachings, his parables, his penetrating questions. If you look again, through the lens that most of us feel fundamentally fatherless, I think you'll find it very close indeed to the center of Jesus' mission. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?" (Matt. 7:9-10 NIV). Well? We rush ahead to the rest of the passage, but I think Jesus is asking us a real question and he wants a real answer. I expect he paused here, his penetrating, compassionate eyes scanning the listeners before him. Well? I hesitate. I guess you're right. I wouldn't, and apart from the exceptionally wicked man, I can't think of any decent father-even if he is self absorbed-who would do such a thing. Jesus continues, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (v. 11 NIV).

He is trying to speak to our deepest doubt about the universe.

Look at the birds of the air. Consider the lilies in the field. Are you not much more valuable to your true Father than they? (Matt 6:26, 28). Hmmm. I'm not sure how to answer. I mean, of course, there's the "right" answer. And then there is the wound in our hearts toward fatherhood, and there is also the way our lives have gone. "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?" (Matt. 18:12 NIV). Yet another question, pressing into the submerged fears in our hearts, another question wanting another answer. Well? Wouldn't he? "And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost" (vv. 13-14 NIV).

Wherever you are in your ability to believe it at this moment in your life, at least you can see what Jesus is driving at. You have a good Father. He is better than you thought. He cares. He really does. He's kind and generous. He's out for your best.

(Fathered by God )

2010-08-09T09:17:00.000-04:00

Beauty Is Absolutely Essential
I (John Eldredge) just let out a deep sigh. That we even need to explain how beauty is so absolutely essential to God only shows how dull we have grown to him, to the world in which we live, and to Eve. Far too many years of our own spiritual lives were lived with barely a nod to beauty, to the central role that beauty plays in the life of God, and in our own lives. How could we have missed this?

Beauty is essential to God. No-that's not putting it strongly enough. Beauty is the essence of God.

The first way we know this is through nature, the world God has given us. Scripture says that the created world is filled with the glory of God (Isa. 6:3). In what way? Primarily through its beauty. We had a wet spring here in Colorado, and the wildflowers are coming up everywhere-lupine and wild iris and Shasta daisy and a dozen others. The aspens have their heart-shaped leaves again, trembling in the slightest breeze. Massive thunderclouds are rolling in, bringing with them the glorious sunsets they magnify. The earth in summer is brimming with beauty, beauty of such magnificence and variety and unembarrassed lavishness, ripe beauty, lush beauty, beauty given to us with such generosity and abundance it is almost scandalous.

Nature is not primarily functional. It is primarily beautiful. Stop for a moment and let that sink in. We're so used to evaluating everything (and everyone) by their usefulness, this thought will take a minute or two to dawn on us. Nature is not primarily functional. It is primarily beautiful. Which is to say, beauty is in and of itself a great and glorious good, something we need in large and daily doses (for our God has seen fit to arrange for this). Nature at the height of its glory shouts, Beauty is essential! revealing that Beauty is the essence of God. The whole world is full of his glory.

(Captivating , 23-24)

Joy

2010-07-31T08:29:00.002-04:00

In the wake of Cindy's death yesterday and my heart feeling heavy, God led me to read my last year's journal entry for this day and ministered to me from a lectio I did on Psalm 84. I want to share it with you.

v1 How wonderful that I get to dwell where You dwell, I get to be in Your Presence. You live inside of me in my spirit AND in my physical being! O Lord of Heaven's Armies, You are the Commander and Keeper of all of the forces of Heaven - all the angels who do your bidding in battle in spiritual realms and here on earth and yet You are my Papa God. I barely can comprehend that!

v2 My desire for You is a longing that almost brings me to fainting away without You. God You are living, Alive, More Real than anything on the earth. I want to shout to You how much I love You and praise You for who You are! With everything that is in me, in my physical being and my soul - my intellect, emotions, will, personality, feelings, with my desires, my passions, with love and a sense of awe. AND with joy!!!

v3 You care about the sparrows. (How much more about me!) You enjoy them when they choose to be close to you, choose Your altar to build their nests and even raise their young there. Thank you that You guided me to be near You and raise my young at Your altars. I pray all my girls will be intentional about the same.

v4 Joy is a result of living in Your Presence and singing Your praises just as the birds do every morning and all day long.

v5 Joy is a result of the weak relying on Your Strength and not our own. Joy comes as we walk with You along the pilgrimage of this life, keeping our minds ever aware of You and how You intersect the moments of our days.

v6 Even when our walk takes us through difficulties that makes our eyes overflow with tears, those tears can turn into a refreshing spring . .

v7 As we allow You to make us stronger because of our trials. You are with us in every trail and can cause blessings to come forth from desolate places.

v8 Thank You for hearing my heart when I share with You. Thank You for listening to my cries of desolation and my cries of joy.

v9 O God without Your favor, I cannot be who You want me to be, who You have called me to be so allow Your favor to fall on me so I can bring glory to Your name.

v10 If I only got to serve You one day in my entire lifetime, it would be so worth it! Even doing the most menial job serving You is better than doing the most coveted job without You.

v11 You are the SUN: bright, beautiful, warm, life-giving, glowing, glorious, huge, fiery, magnificent! You are my Shield: the One who protects, guards, goes before me, says I belong to You, keeps the enemy far from me. I cannot live without You, without what You provide or without who You are. I am 100% in need of You 100% of the time. You give me grace and glory.

Grace: undeserved merit; exchanged my life for Yours, my sin for Your righteousness; paid my debt and filled my account up with everything I need; all the time Your grace is sufficient for me - all the time - every moment. How unaware of this magnanimous provision You've graced me with. How unreliant I am on You. I think I can do it myself like a stubborn three year old who has no comprehension of her inabilities. Forgive my independence! I want to celebrate my dependence on You!

Glory: We are glorious because we are made in Your image, we reflect You! I reflect You and Your glory, by being made by You and for You and in Your image . . .
When I obey You, love You, love others, I am displaying Your glory.
When I give You praise, speak to others of who You are, serve You, love You, be with You, just be, I reflect Your glory.
When I be who You created me to be, I display Your glory.

I love this part of this psalm, it is one of my favorite verses in the entire Bible: No good thing will You withhold from those who walk uprightly.
You desire to give me good things when I yield to You and allow Your righteousness to be a part the whole of my life. And what are those "good thing"? I think it must be wealth, influence, fun, pleasure but You say Your grace and Your glory are the good things You have in store for me - better things than I could ever think of, think up, dream or imagine.

v12 Joy is the result of fully trusting in You, that You desire what is best for my life and that I believe and rely on that fact and live my life in Your presence because of Your lavish love for me.

Here is Psalm 84 as found in the New Living Translation.
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
2 I long, yes, I faint with longing
to enter the courts of the Lord.
With my whole being, body and soul,
I will shout joyfully to the living God.
3 Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young
at a place near your altar,
O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, my King and my God!
4 What joy for those who can live in your house,
always singing your praises.
Interlude

5 What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord,
who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
6 When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,[b]
it will become a place of refreshing springs.
The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.
7 They will continue to grow stronger,
and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.[c]

8 O Lord God of Heaven’s Armies, hear my prayer.
Listen, O God of Jacob.
Interlude

9 O God, look with favor upon the king, our shield!
Show favor to the one you have anointed.

10 A single day in your courts
is better than a thousand anywhere else!
I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God
than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.
11 For the Lord God is our sun and our shield.
He gives us grace and glory.
The Lord will withhold no good thing
from those who do what is right.
12 O Lord of Heaven’s Armies,
what joy for those who trust in you.

Prayer of the Teacup

2010-06-15T10:28:00.001-04:00

So many friends are going through difficult times right now. I get overwhelmed when I sit down to pray for all the needs on my heart. Sometimes I just don't have adequate words to express the depth of my concern, the angst I feel for them, the desires for God to meet them in the midst of their sufferings. Then I read this today and knew I was on the right track.

"I remember Charles saying that he hardly knew how to pray for himself, much less anyone else. 'So I just say their names,' he said, 'and sort of picture them in the last place I saw them. Then I am quiet for as long as I can be, just sort of lifting them up in my mind, looking at their face, trying to see what it holds. And for a while it seems that I am carrying a part of whatever they are having to carry.' To the Father, on that last night with His friends, Jesus said, 'I lift up to You those You have given me.' To lift up those who have been given to us, and to whom we have been give, is all, and possibly everything, that we can do.'Father Almighty,' we pray, 'we offer prayers to You for those whose lives are linked to our.' And there they are, in those places where they were the last time we was them. We can see the way their hair curls around their ears just so, and the twinkle in their eyes, and the hint of something unnamed that hides in the edges and folds of their smiles. We have been given to them and they to us, by virtue of blood and gene pool or by virtue of relationship and covenant. We are not alone, and neither are they, no matter how lonely we seem, all of us and any of us, at times.

We entrust all who are dear to us to Your never-failing love and care, for this life and the life to come, knowing that You will do for them far more than we can desire or pray for. Kyrie, eleison - Lord, have mercy."
Living Prayer, Robert Benson

This reminded me of something else I read a while ago: Prayer of the Teacup
("The first 15 minutes of each day I reserve for the saints on earth. I begin my day with a cup of tea. As the steam from my cup ascends to the heavens I walk with all my favorite strangers into the heart of God. There is a bit of the stranger in everyone, even friends. This dawn prayer becomes a sacred moment of yearning. I yearn for God to bless my friends and name them one by one. Sometimes I do not even name them. I simply see their faces in the ascending steam. I receive the persons who come into my memory and I give them back to God.")

I stand at my window and watch
one by one the stars all leave me
I am having tea with the dawn
the first ray of sun descending
into my teacup
into my heart
The steam of my tea ascending
to the heavens
into God's heart
The yearning in my heart streaming
to the heavens
into God's heart
And God, standing in the heavens
watching the sun rise in my heart
leans down to breathe in
the first rays of my yearning
and names it morning prayer.
Macrina Wiederkehr
Seasons of Your Heart

from my journal:
Sometimes word are not enough to express the prayers in my heart and mind - silence say it best - allowing my spirit to communicate with God without words getting in the way. Sometimes silence with God feels empty like nothing is being communicated when in truth so much more is being "said" than when I use my words. Thank You Papa for this special way to pray.

Breath

2010-06-05T21:38:00.004-04:00

A breath prayer is a short 6-8 syllable sentence that you can prayer in one breath. Some might call them "popcorn prayers" because you can pop them to God quickly. My breath prayer for the last year has been "Breathe on me, Breath of God." I love how I can pray that at any moment of any day and it gets me in touch with God's Presence in and around and through me. I was reading my last year's journal today and here are some of the thoughts that spoke to me again.

Breathe on me, Breath of God
Fill me with life anew
That I may love what You love
And do what You would do
(Edwin Hatch from the blue book p 63)

If God is the One in whom we are to live and move and have our being, then I want my every inhale infused with His Presence, my every exhale an extension of His love.
Margaret Feinberg, Sacred Echo, p21

I loved how she stated that: every inhale INFUSED with God's Presence; every exhale and EXTENSION of His LOVE. Oh that I might increasing become more aware of God in me as I breath in, breath out, 24/7!

IMMEDIATELY

2010-06-04T08:48:00.002-04:00

How do you react in a storm? Peter got scared, even with Jesus asking him to walk on water to Him. Funny though, when Peter began to sink, Matt 14:30-31 says Jesus IMMEDIATELY took his hand and saved him. It occurs to me that Jesus is always available to me. As soon as I turn to Him, He is IMMEDIATELY there for me. This speaks to me of how much He loves me and is concerned for me and of His companionship with me. I can take comfort in knowing His Presence is with me, always. It is my awareness of Him that changes when I call on Him. Because He lives in me, He really is IMMEDIATELY available. Even when I do not "feel" His presence, He IS there.

Thank You Jesus that You want to be here with me IMMEDIATELY whenever I call on You or need You. It is Your delight to do so. You have the power to do so. You are big enough and good enough to do so. Help me remember to cry out to You in and out of storms.

When Jesus says to Peter, "Why did you doubt?" I see that not said as a word of correction but as a smiling Jesus encouraging Peter not to give up on Jesus so easily or on himself either.

Psalm 94:19 When doubts filled my mind, Your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul.

God listens . . .

2010-05-20T07:44:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I think I must jump through certain hoops to get God to listen to me. Is it the position I pray in that makes prayer "work"? Or the words I say, in a certain way, over a certain period of time? Or maybe if I write my requests in my journal God is more likely to answer.
Is God available to me at anytime, every day, in every moment? Is there some special thing I must do before He will hear my prayers?

Since God is omnipresent (always here and everywhere at once) and since he lives in me and I live in Him and since He loves me unconditionally and accepts me as His Beloved, then there should not be anything special I need to do to get His attention. He is always attentive, always listening to me.

Relate this to your own children. As long as they are in your presence, you hear them. You don't say to them, "I'm not hearing you. First go clean your room and then I'll hear you." [OK, maybe you HAVE said THAT on occasion!) But does God say that to us? No, He is always hearing us, always listening.

Now that does not mean He always answers the way we want Him too. (He knows better than that and sometimes we are so glad He did NOT answer the way we wanted Him too. Sometimes we can see His wisdom in that.) When we request things of God, we usually think we know the best way for Him to answer, and often I tell God that, "If you would just do A, B and C, we'll be good to go!" Now I know none of you ever do that, right? :) But truly even though we are looking for a yes, sometimes God answers but we don't receive it because His answer is "no" or "wait" or "I have a BETTER idea" or "just BE with Me and trust that I've got this under control."

"Jesus knew the Father was listening not just when he prayed but all the time whenever He spoke. God was always responding to Jesus' words, whether they were addressed to the Father or addressed to someone else. For Jesus, the line between praying and just speaking became very thin. God is the constant gracious listener to our every thought."

But that was JESUS. Well, news flash, if you are a believer, who is living inside of you? Jesus. The Holy Spirit. And John 17:23 tells me that God loves me as much as He loves Jesus. So God hears us just as much as He does Jesus. Wow, that is a revelation for me.

Since God is the constant gracious listener to our every thought, shouldn't we return the favor?

quotes in italics from The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg p. 134-5

Delay is NOT Denial

2010-05-11T18:28:00.003-04:00

Father, too often I have trusted in my own power, my own knowledge, my own self instead of YOU. I want to depend on Your power and Your knowledge 100% of the time. You know so much better than I. How much better my life would go if I did this. Help me!
Acknowledgement of the problem is a huge first step - so be encouraged you are on your way, on the right path. Bring your self back to Me again and again when you find yourself wandering back to your self, your power, your knowledge. Cling to Me. Seek Me first always.

from God Calling ...Leave Me out of nothing. Love all My ways with you. Know indeed that "all is well." Delay is but the wonderful and all-loving restraint of your Father - not reluctance, not desire to deny - but the Divine control of a Father who can scarely brook the delay.
Delay has to be - sometimes. Your life is so linked up with those of others, so bound by circumstances that to let your desire have instant fulfillment might in many cases cause another, as earnest prayer, to go unanswered.
But think for a moment of the Love and thoughtful care that seeks to harmonize and reconcile all your desire and longings and prayers.
Delay is not denial - not even withholding. It is the opportunity for Me to work out your problems and accomplish your desires in the most wonderful way possible for you.
Oh My child, trust Me.Remember that your Maker is also your Servant, quick to fulfill, quick to achieve, faithful in accomplishment. Yes. All is well.

2010-05-06T05:56:00.002-04:00

My love for you will never fail - it will last forever, it will not stop, nothing you can do would make Me stop loving you, nothing can separate you from My love. My love WILL produce what I intend - it will not fail. Swell in that thought today of My unfailing love for you, FOR YOU!

"As we wait, we relinquish control, surrender our wills five up our false hopes and realize that if anything is going to happen at all, it will have to be God's doing."

When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions. Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-force. The 'worst' is never the worst. Lamentations 3:28-30 The Message

"We realize that our transformation is not up to us - it never was! If anything is to happen, God must do it. Through waiting our transformation is accomplished because God does what we cannot.

Quotes from The Lazarus Life by Stephen Smith pp.37-38

Not your typical marriage book!

2010-05-02T19:16:00.004-04:00

After 38 years of marriage and being an avid reader, I thought I'd read about every marriage principle out there. This book surprises! The Eldredges' vulnerability as they share their personal struggles take "another marriage book" to a new level. As my husband and I followed their stories, we found ourselves relating to what they shared and relating more to one another. Even if you cannot get your spouse to read along with you, you will find the material applicable. As you put it into practice, you will see the dynamics of your marriage changing. Another smash success for John and Stasi AND for you and your spouse if you put into practice these life-changing principles.Run to the nearest bookstore and get your copy of Love and War; you won't be disappointed!

Clean Slate

2010-04-21T07:16:00.004-04:00

Papa, I rejoice in You, in another day to live in Your love and hear Your voice and be with You. I need you Jesus, desperately, in every way. Be with me today. Thank You that You ask me to just BE with you as well. I love You.
Do not worry; I will sustain you because I love you and because I can. My mercies truly are brand new every single morning. You truly do get to be a "beginner" every single day, a do-over, a fresh slate on which I can write your story . . . or you can. Choose ME to write your story and you'll find LIFE even if you have to walk through some valleys of death. Die to self so you can live to Me.

"Stillness is always the prerequisite for receptivity."

"God notices things about you your mother has never even thought about."

"Eyes that cannot see might be healed but eyes that will not see cannot be helped. God Himself will not force them open."

quotes from Love Beyond Reason by John Ortberg pp.41, 45, 46.

He's not safe but He's good . . . Lucy from Chronicles of Narnia

2010-04-07T16:58:00.003-04:00

"If we let the Lion of Judah run loose as Lord of our lives, He will not want us to be poor, broken or sad. Yet He may allow it, knowing that in these conditions we are more likely to let Him make us rich, whole and happy. If you let the real Jesus into your life, the God whose supreme desire is your happiness and fulfillment, you will want to throw out anything that is going to stop you from reaching His Kingdom."
Brennan Manning, The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus Pgs. 112-113

When he says God wants us to be rich, whole and happy, I believe God might define that differently than we would. Not rich as in the wealth of this world but as in the riches of the Kingdom of God, and not happy as in all our circumstances are easy or fun but finding our happiness in what is true happiness, which is finding we were made for: an intimate relationship with God. That is to me the desire of God's heart and why we can trust that His intentions for us are deeply good. And that all He allows in our lives is to bring us to that end, a relationship with Him that makes us whole, what He originally intended us to be. Like the relationship He had with Adam and Eve in the garden before the Fall.

Lamentations 3:19-33 (The Message)

It's a good thing to hope for help from God
I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way:

Expectations

2010-03-29T07:48:00.004-04:00

"The times in life when I get the most hurt in relationships, the moments when I am most tempted to pull back, are when my expectations are out of line. When I expect someone to respond to me one way and they choose another. I get disappointed or hurt. In the verse in Luke that says "love your enemies (think difficult people in my life), do good to them and lend to them without expecting to get anything back," Jesus offers a word of wisdom and encouragement: DROP your expectations! I have interpreted this to mean that people cannot give you what they do not have. Whatever the reason for that, when I realize that they did not give what they did not have, I am set free! In my heart I can be kind again."

As I read this in The Organic God by Margaret Feinberg, I thought, "Oh my gosh! This is so true of me. I do have expectations of people to act a certain way toward me, toward others and when they don't, I get hurt and judge them or reject them. I need to remember this so I CAN drop my expectations and just give kindness. And how do I do that? By receiving the abundant kindness of God toward me. Well, actually, I have already received it, since He has forgiven me of all my grime and gunk and has loved me extravagantly and lavishly. I just need to be aware of that truth moment by moment and in those moments when someone does not reciprocate, turn to God to recognize HIS abundant kindness to me and settle into Him and receive the kindness I'm looking for from the other (difficult, especially at that moment) person, from God instead. He never disappoints.

Help me Papa to be more kind to those who don't do what I expect and help me remember they don't have it to give back.

That gets me out of my entitlement mentality (I deserve their kindness b/c I was kind, or b/c they are my friend, my family). People never seem to respond well to others feeling entitled."

"A renewal or restoration takes place (in me) when I give up the sense I am owed something. I am able to give freely, not expecting anything in return." ibid.

This is my prayer for myself today. Simple, but not easy. Thank You Papa that you are willing to help me be more like You in this way.

The Bridegroom calls to me . . .

2010-03-27T08:05:00.002-04:00

You are My chosen, My Beloved, My Delight and loved as none other. Each of My chosen ones are as the only bride for the Bridegroom. Just as the Bridgegroom chooses His bride, I have chosen you to be mine forever. I loved you so very much that I waa willing to shed My blood and die so that you could be my bride. Allow Me to love you unreservedly and soak in My love for you, just for you.

On the Things God Witholds

2010-03-17T18:55:00.003-04:00

When I say "I need this" (to be happy, content, fulfilled . . . you fill in the blank) what I really am saying is God's love and God's life are not enough. Isn't that what Adam and Eve were seduced into believing - that God was not enough? He had given them so much but all they could see . . . was the one thing they didn't have.

Once we focus on that one thing it swells to mythic proportions. We are certain life will "come together" once we have "it" or achieve "it." The only thing we truly need is God and the LIFE He gives us.

God uses our disappointments, our longings, to draw us to Himself. To wean our hearts from every other perceived source of life so that we might come to find our life in Him. This may be why everyone of us bears at least one major and lingering disappointment in our life that we don't understand why it is still there and unfulfilled. It reminds us everyday that we cannot make life work the way we want. If we'll let it, the disappointment can be God's way of continually drawing us back to Himself.

I have a choice - I can let my disappointments define my life. Or I can let them them take me back to God, to find my life in Him in ways I have not yet learned. And so I break the agreement that I've made, that I need this. I give this place in my heart back to You, God. Fill me with Your love and Your life in this very place.

You alone are enough.

taken from Walking with God by John Eldredge

We are invited into a conversational intimacy with God!

2010-03-15T01:55:00.001-04:00

I read this line in John Eldredge's Walking with God, a book I highly recommend, and I thought "how very true this statement is but how many of us don't REALLY believe it!" More often than I'd like to hear, Christian friends whom I respect talk about how it is wrong to focus on "feeling" God in our lives. Now I agree, to a point; we can't just want God for the good feelings He graciously gives us. BUT it almost feels like we throw the baby out with the bathwater, i.e., throw the experiential part of the relationship out with the feelings. That would be like marrying someone only because they were good for you or because you "should" but not desiring or expecting a relationship with them that includes good feelings. Crazy! Our relationship with God is not just about good biblical theology although that is essential for a true relationship with God. I see that as our foundation to experience a fulfilling relationship with God. Religion without relationship is just legalism - and the Law kills. The Holy Spirit living within us brings life - life comes through relationship. Think of life in any other area of your life - with your family, work, ministry - none of that is lived in a vacuum and without relationship. And the more intimacy you have in those areas, the more fulfilling those relationships they are. Same with God, don't you think? And yes, good feelings are the results of a good relationship! Not that they are the goal or the focus - the growing relationship is the focus but that certainly does not exempt us from experiencing God in an intimate way (which includes feelings.)

Do we shy away from feeling feelings with God because we are afraid? What if I try and don't experience Him? What if He doesn't give me that "gift"? Sounds like the enemy's strategy to get us to lose hope and chose a lesser thing than God desires for us with Him. How do I know this is what He desires? He says so, over and over, in His Word.
Here are just a few verses that come to mind:

Romans 8:32 If I gave up My Son to have relationship with you, how will I not freely give you all things?

Ephesians 3:19-20 I ask you'll take in the extravagent dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God God can do anything you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!
(How can you take in God's love without feelings being involved?)

Zephaniah 3:17: God delights in us! (How can you delight in someone and NOT want them to experience you?)

Romans 8:38-39 Nothing separates us from God's love.

Just look at Jesus with His disciples. Was it purely a "theological, here's the facts about me, now believe" kind of relationship? Or did Jesus love them in tangible ways that included feelings and they loved Him in return? I John 4:10 says that God loved us first so we could love him back, and love others- that sounds like a whole lot of "feelings" involved in this process.

So look to see what your personal hestitation is about experiencing feelings for God and from God and then see how that lines up with scripture and God's intent toward you. His intentions toward you are deeply good, more so than you could dream or imagine!!!!

17 Ways to Stay Ultra-Positive

2010-03-05T00:48:00.002-05:00

17 Ways to Stay Ultra-Positive by Tommy Newberry

Difficult, trying times reveal just how positive you really are. Think about it.

What’s the virtue in being positive when you’re on a roll, when everything is clicking for you and falling your way?

Your potential for business excellence, excellence in your marriage, and excellence in your family life demands that you master the skill of staying U.P. (Ultra-Positive) even when–and especially when–everyone else isn’t. There is a tendency in tough times to zero in on the things that are “out of whack” and forget about all that is working in our lives and in our country.

When you’re Ultra-Positive, you’ll be more creative, productive, energetic, attractive, and most importantly, receptive to God’s will. Here are seventeen practical options to build your momentum. Pick your favorites and get started today. Then spread the joy to others.

1. Make the Decision to Stay U.P.

Nothing of consequence happens until you promise yourself that you’ll become the most positive person you know, even in light of challenging circumstances. Raise your standards! Become an inspiration to others. Everything else flows from this key decision to separate yourself from the herd mentality, from the vast majority who blame, whine, gossip, and predict the sky is falling. Life is short. Refuse to buy into this mass hypnotism…Take a stand, starting now.

2. Start U.P. then end U.P. every day.

One of the simplest ways to reduce stress and anxiety is to begin and end each day with what I call Positive Mental Nutrition™. Feed your mind with inspirational ideas, spiritual truth, or motivational nuggets for ten to fifteen minutes immediately upon awakening each morning and right before drifting to sleep each evening. During these two time periods, your mind is extremely susceptible to programming, so make sure your inputs are positive, healthy, and goal-directed. Read, visualize, affirm, pray, and rewrite your goals…and practice feeling thankful for what you do have!

3. Summarize Each Day’s Victories, Large or Small, in Writing.

This one practice alone can zap fear and generate quantum leaps in self-confidence. Start logging your accomplishments each evening in a notebook, hardbound journal, or on your computer. What a great, 4:8 habit!

4. U.P. your Physical Exercise

Another pillar of Ultra-Positive living is consistent, moderate exercise. This includes aerobic work to burn fat and improve heart health; weight work to tone and strengthen your muscles and elevate metabolism; and flexibility work to stay loose and limber. Exercise more. Exercise a lot more! Face the facts. When you’re in terrific shape and feel better about yourself, you feel better about your life and more optimistic about your future. You’re positioned to live U.P. to your full potential.

5. Break U.P. the Big Four

Negative thinking leads to negative emotions, which in turn trigger more negative thinking. The vicious cycle becomes engaged. The top four negative emotions include fear, worry, blame, and guilt. These terrorize your potential and immobilize your efforts toward becoming Ultra-Positive. When you begin experiencing results you didn’t want or expect, it’s easy to get scared and start thinking more about potential losses than potential gains. This mind-set triggers worry or what I call reverse goal setting, where you vividly imagine what you don’t want. To transfer the burden of worry, you will often blame someone or something outside of yourself. Alternatively, you may exaggerate your role in the negative events and experience guilt. Consider negative emotions to be lies from the enemy. Deal with them directly by refusing to entertain the thoughts that fuel them. This is a point very much worth reinforcing: Invest your time thinking about what you want instead of what you don’t want.

6. Forgive Someone, Including Yourself, Daily

Harboring grudges and hostility against anyone, including yourself, tends to attract more circumstances to be upset about. Practice forgiving somebody every day for real or imagined transgressions. The better you become at forgiveness, the more positive you can become as a human being. If you skip this one, I’ll even forgive you.
7. Quarantine Negativity if You Can’t Dissolve It

Carve out a particular time and place to worry (worry time) and to complain (issue time) each week. This is extremely effective because then the rest of your week isn’t diluted with the minority of negative circumstances that can infect otherwise healthy days. When you cut the spontaneity out of negativity, you severely weaken it.

8. Focus on God. He’s U.P.

Remind yourself of everything you know to be true about God. God is all-powerful. God is love. God is sovereign. God is always with us. God is absolute truth. God never changes. And so on. Thinking about God is good, really good! And the bigger you make God, the smaller your problems become.

9. Schedule Four-Minute Positive Injections Every Two Hours

Think of these as Positive Pit Stops. Review your goals or mission. Practice affirmation or visualization. Pray. Read the Bible. Relive a positive memory. Write a thank-you card or send an e-mail of appreciation to someone important. Ask 4:8 Questions. (See page 33 in that smiley face book)

10. Simplify and Declutter to stay U.P.

Complexity is negative. Simplicity is positive. Room by room, drawer by drawer, try tossing one tiny item of clutter every day for thirty consecutive days. My 1% clients love this one and so will you, because doing even a small task will help you to feel more positive. Break your jumbo-sized goals into sub-goals and milestones, and then splinter them into even smaller pieces if necessary to spur you into action. Renegotiate or downsize existing commitments to lighten your load a bit for the next thirty days.

11. Get to Bed Sixty Minutes Earlier for Ten Straight Days

Fatigue, especially chronic fatigue, invites negativity and cowardly thinking. During periods of intense or prolonged stress, extra sleep will help your brain remain an ally in the war against mediocrity. Cut something out of the evening schedule (maybe the bad news) and drift to sleep with visions of victories dancing in your head. Your body, mind, and spirit will thank you.

12. Take a Twenty-Four-Hour Mental Fast

Become Ultra-Positive one day at a time. You can rid your attitude of toxic thoughts through the practice of mental fasting. Read and reread The 4:8 Principle if you want to master this simple, relevant, powerful and biblically-based mental technique. During your fast, abstain from all complaining, fear-mongering, criticizing, excuse-making, gossiping, and worrying whatsoever! Start with a twenty-four minute fast and gradually discipline your mind to repel all negativity for a whole day. Focus on progress. Rinse and repeat as necessary.

13. Stay U.P. and Watch Your Favorite Funny Movies

Laughter is fabulously positive. Research indicates that people who laugh more actually have more fun. Isn’t that surprising? Consider building your own comedy library on DVD. Save funny movies on TIVO. Watch often. You’ll stay healthier, more creative, and less stressed–and that’s a great alternative to the medicine cabinet.

14. Have a Counter-Attack Plan U.P. and Ready

Become hypersensitive to your thought life. Since you can be negative only when you’re thinking “8:4 thoughts,” you can quickly become positive by thinking “4:8 thoughts.” This is called the Principle of Substitution. The split-second you notice any negative thought running through your mind, replace it emphatically with something like, “I am responsible” or “I trust God” “God is with me” “This is temporary” or “I can do it.” Repeat, repeat, repeat! Be ready with your comeback before the heat of the moment. Make negative, limiting thoughts unwelcome in your mind.

15. Re-Engage an Old Hobby to Stay U.P.

Involve yourself in a positive activity that used to be important to you but may have gotten squeezed out of your life due to other priorities. This will be both therapeutic and rejuvenating. Consider it a gift to yourself.

16. Intentionally Cultivate Ultra-Positive Company

This one is mandatory. It’s next to impossible to become or stay U.P. when the people you live and work with are petty, “8:4 thinkers.” Nothing equals the influence of your habitual associations. Especially now, be purposeful about which people are close to you on a regular basis. The people you hang out with influence your outlook on life. As you become more optimistic, you will attract more optimistic people in your life, and that’s good.

17. Help Someone Else U.P.

Donate your money. Donate your time. Volunteer. Simply serve someone less fortunate (and there are a billion or so to choose from) or contribute your talents and gifts to a worthy organization. Helping those who need help reduces self-centeredness and puts your own challenges into a much more positive perspective.

The key to staying U.P. is to remember that every situation can indeed be positive when you view it through the lens of Philippians 4:8, as an opportunity for spiritual growth, character refinement and the redistribution of joy.

Books I Read in 2009

2010-01-25T10:50:00.003-05:00

I love to read and so I always keep a list of the books I've completed every year.
Here they are. The books in bold are my favorites for this year.

January
God with Us: Rediscovering the Meaning of Christmas compilation
Living a Purpose Full Life Jan Johnson
Papa Prayer Larry Crabb

February
The Believer’s Secret of the Abiding Presence Andrew Murray, Brother Lawrence/Louis Gifford Parkhurst, Jr.
9 things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life Henry Cloud
I, Francis Carlo Carretto
Between the Tides Patti Callahan Henry

April
Homesick for Eden Gary Moon

May
The Hidden Life Kitty Crenshaw and Catherine Snapp
Let Go Fenelon

June
Living Prayer Robert Benson

July
Twilight Stephanie Meyer
Widow of the South Robert Hicks
City of Ember Jeanne DuPrau
Come Away My Beloved: 365 One minute meditations
Losing the Moon Patti Callahan Henry

August
The Echo Within Robert Benson
Sacred Echo Margaret Feinburg
New Moon Stephanie Meyer

September
Eclipse Stephanie Meyer
Breaking Dawn Stephanie Meyer
Gift of Being Yourself David Benner
Between the Dreaming and the Coming True Robert Benson

October
Embracing Soul Care Stephen Smith
Lazarus Life Stephen Smith
Sacred Chaos Tricia McCary Rhodes

November
Home By Another Way Robert Benson
Mistaken Identity Van Ryn and Cerak
Until We Reach Home Lynn Austin
The 4:8 Principle Tommy Newberry

December
Finding Noel CD Richard Paul Evans
Sam’s Letters to Jennifer James Patterson
God Calling

My best read was Living Prayer and The Hidden Life. I will definitely read those again.

Heart Walk - Heart Talk

2010-01-11T10:31:00.003-05:00

It's been probably a month since I've had my daily walk but today was the day, start of a new week and a new year so I put on my long johns, my sweats, my scarf, hat, gloves, with soapstone handwarmers in my pockets for an extra touch of warmth if I needed it (which after my bundle up I probably would not), I braved the 28 degree cold (with windchill felt like 20!). If you know me at all I have a very limited degree of comfort (my hubbys says it is from 76-78 degrees and that's it!) so this was a big step for me.

It actually felt invigorating! I felt my heart pumping, thus I call this my "heart walk" but also felt the breath of the Holy Spirit breathing inside me as I breathed in the cold air. I love my morning walks because they are pure crytalline moments where I hear the sweet whispers of Papa and thus I call this my "heart talk" as well. (maybe I should say it is my heart talk walk! :))

Today He was speaking to me about approval, of me and me of others. I asked Him, "How do I approve of others when I don't approve of their behaviors?" I felt He answered, "You approve of their true self, the person I originally intended them to be and am conforming them into; and you call that person into being by affirming and approving of that person." You know how when someone compliments you on something you don't see in yourself and you are surprised. You might respond by saying, "Boy, I want to be more of that!" and so you begin to be open to becoming that true self.
This was an "ah-ha" for me today.

I'm so glad I ventured out.

I love Christmas!

2009-12-21T21:10:00.007-05:00

When you are sitting around your Christmas dinner with friends and family, why not ask some thoughtful questions?
1. What's the best thing that's happened to you since last Christmas?
2. What was your best Christmas ever? Why?
3. What's the most meaningful Christmas gift you've ever received?
4. What was the most appreciated Christmas gift you've ever given?
5. What was your favorite Christmas tradition as a child?
6. What is your favorite Christmas tradition now?
7. What do you do to try to keep Christ in Christmas?
8. If you were stranded on an island with a TV/DVD player and only one Christmas movie, which one would it be? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I never thought I'd be a fake tree type but a few years ago after Christmas, we bought a nine foot tree with white lights for $30 (such a deal we couldn't pass it up, even if we only used it on our front porch or something like that!). However, I must admit I love this tree! Here are the positives about a fake tree:
1. It goes up in a flash.
2. I don't have to put lights on it
3. You can move the branches to fit the ornaments where you want them to show up
4. The branches don't bend down under the weight of the heavier ornaments
5. I can "smell" the tree since I put out my Yankee Candle "Cedar Leaf Spruce" potpourri which smell even better and longer than any Frazier Fir we've ever bought
6. It's economical
7. No needle droppings!
8. Don't have to water it
9. No sap on your hands that you can't get off
So all in all I'm now PRO artificial tree!!! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I CORINTHIANS 13 - A CHRISTMAS VERSION If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator. If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook. If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing. If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point. Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn't envy another home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens. Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can't. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

Flame of Love

2009-09-04T07:21:00.000-04:00

O living flame of love
That tenderly wounds my soul
In its deepest center! Since
Now you are not oppressive,
Now Consummate! If it be your will:
Tear through the veil of this sweet encounter!

O sweet cautery,
O delightful wound!
O gentle hand! O delicate touch
That tastes of eternal life
And pays every debt!
In killing you changed death into life.
O lamps of fire! In whose splendors
The deep caverns of feeling.
Once obscure and blind,
Now give forth, so rarely, so exquisitely,
Both warmth and light to their beloved.

How gently and lovingly
You wake in my heart.
Where in secret you dwell alone;
And in your sweet breathing,
Filled with good and glory,
How tenderly you swell my heart with love.

Saint John of the Cross

Mistakes

2009-07-28T08:06:00.002-04:00

You wonder why you are permitted to make mistakes in your choice when you sought so truly to do My will in the matter. To that I say it was no mistake . . . all your lessons cannot be learned without difficulty and this was needed to teach you a lesson. Not to him who walks on, with no obstacles is the promise given. The overcoming is never the overcoming of the one who troubles you, but the overcoming of the weaknesses and wrong in your own nature, aroused by such a one.

excerpt from God Calling edited by A J Russell July 28
Rev 2:7 To everyone who overcomes I will give fruit from the tree of life in the paradise of God.

A Burning Bush

2009-07-10T16:29:00.004-04:00

Wednesday I was on my early morning walk around the neighbor. I passed by a little creek and glanced at it and noticed some "stirring" in the water. I thought, "that's odd" and then heard a splash and thought "is that a dog swimming in the creek?" So I turned aside from my walk to investigate. To my surprise I saw two creatures. At first I thought, "Are those beavers???" (There had actually been reports of some beavers in the neighbor) But as I continued to look, one climbed out on a log and instead of a big flat tail it had a long skinny tail . . . river otters!!! They went back in the water and turned to look at me with their little heads popping out of the creek the way river otters do. I was amazed! I watched them for a few minutes and then went on with my walk. Now I wished I had stayed a while!

For me this was a God Hunt moment. How often do you see river otters in a creek in your neighborhood???? This was a first for ME! God knows how connected I feel to Him in and through nature and this was an early morning "gift" saying to me, "See how I delight in surprising you with fun little gifts just because I love you?" I could just see the expression on God's face as I "found" the gift He had waiting for me.

As I thought about this, I remembered Moses "turning aside" to investigate an unusual sight: a burning bush that did not burn up. And in that moment God spoke to him. What if Moses had not turned aside? What if I had not? I would have missed something very special from God's heart to mine.

I'm grateful I'm learning to live in the moment and cherish each and every one. What a gift each moment from my God is to me!!!!

Remember to turn aside when you sense One calling you to do so. You may experience a God moment along with me and Moses.

(this image was taken from igoogle and is not the real otters I saw)

Life is a Journey, not a Destination

2009-07-07T08:40:00.003-04:00

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." Annie Dillard

So be sure you are spending the minutes of your lives well. Savour every moment. Live in the present moment, live in the "in-between", it is a sacred space with God. Learn how to keep company with Jesus. Practice the presence of God.

Words to Live By

2009-07-02T08:50:00.002-04:00

Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on
Posted by Regina Brett September 20, 2007 14:03PM
Originally published in The Plain Dealer on Sunday,May 28, 2006

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Change

2009-06-30T10:15:00.002-04:00

We all want to change something about ourselves. Read below to find out how to start that process.

"People perceive and remember what fits into their personal plot—an internal script of oneself and one’s world. Beliefs and assumptions (inspired by experiences) dictate what you look for and attribute meaning. You always find or create that which validates those beliefs, and ignore, mistrust, disbelieve—or more likely don’t notice—anything that doesn’t fit into that pattern.

Reruns
People repeat behavior, even that which doesn’t work, because it offers security and familiarity. Doing the same thing results in a known outcome; predictability masquerades as effectiveness. When you move beyond a familiar pattern, you may experience anxiety.

Repetition reinstates the security of the familiar, even if the repetition is limiting or frustrating. By opting for repetition, people sabotage invention and imprison creativity. Stuck behavior has stuck consequences. Staying in a rut long enough begins to seem like fate. That outlook can lead to despair. The ultimate question about fixed beliefs or “stuckness” is: Does it work?

Who Wrote This?
Change may be difficult, but it begins with the easy recognition that you are the author of your own life story. Insight, understanding, and theory do not create change. New theories alone will not drive old lived experiences into extinction. Lasting change requires new lived experiences to replace old experiences – you invested a lot of years in the old system, and you will have to practice the new stuff as hard as you practiced the old stuff."

4 BASIC TESTS FOR CHANGE

1. What do you want to change?
2. What do you want to outgrow?
3. What do you want to avoid?
4. What do you want to enhance?

This article was written by David Krueger, MD who is the Dean of Curriculum for the CTA Certified Coach Program and author of 16 books. He mentors executives, entrepreneurs, and authors.

A Must Read

2009-06-13T09:47:00.002-04:00

I love this author and this book! He writes: We look for saints and for mystics whose words speak to us. We seek out the poets and preachers and pilgrims whose language seems somehow our own , in the hope they will explain what we know we have heard in the depths of our hearts.

This is exactly what Benson has done for me as I read this book: expresses my own heart and confirms my experience with Jesus. I love it and am celebrating this book and my own relationship with Father/Papa God.

Fallow Field

2009-06-10T22:34:00.002-04:00

I'm reading the greatest book, flying through it, can't wait to get into it every single morning. Living Prayer by Robert Benson. This line struck me today: "We pray that we may so use such time (on a retreat) to renew our minds; by letting our minds lie fallow for a time, by not engaging them every waking moment in the things that pass away." p101

I was thinking about how just "being" with God, and being silent in prayer, not saying anything or expecting to hear anything, just allowing my mind to be "fallow" is so needful. The Lord commanded his people to let their land lie fallow every 7 years AND every 7X7 years or 49 years in order to produce a more fruitful crop. The year of Jubilee was the 50th year after all those fallow years, a huge celebration.

Who knew that leaving our minds to be fallow in silent prayer would or could produce so very much????

Be a good steward of your pain

2009-06-05T13:15:00.004-04:00

"Being a good steward of your pain...It involves being alive to your life. It involves taking the risk of being open, of reaching out, of keeping in touch with the pain as well as the joy of what happens because at no time more than at a painful time do we live out of the depths of who we are instead of out of the shallows."
— The Clown in the Belfry, Frederick Buechner

Being vs Doing

2009-05-28T23:00:00.003-04:00

How many of us go out and DO for God before we even have discovered who we are in relationship with Him . . . the BE side of us. God calls us to first BE and then from who He made us to be He calls us to DO in relationship to Him. "Doing" without first "being" is like a plant growing tall without a strong root system - there is nothing to ground its activity and quickly it will fail. (Hmmm, sounds a lot like Jesus talking about the parable of the sower doesn't it?). "The higher the growth up, the deeper must be the enrooting." Much activity for God without first growth IN God will result in failed fruit.

Work on your just "being" with God today!

inspired by excerpt from God Calling from May 27

Solitude in NC

2009-05-16T21:02:00.003-04:00

It is always nice to have a little R&R and mine was very special the last few days. I traveled to my friend Barb's cabin in NC and had two whole days of relaxing with God, reading my Bible, devotionals, books, praying, being quiet, walking, journaling, lectio divina. I also got to visit a bit with Barb and Keith, Bailey, Carson and Marley on their farm. What a joy, what a treat! We had some great Chicken Fried Rice and Chocolate Fondue. Thank you God! Thank you Barb and Keith!

The Bride

2009-05-07T16:32:00.002-04:00

"All that I am and all that I have is yours."
Sounds like a wedding vow from a bride to a groom, and vise versa, doesn't it?
I give him all that I am and have, he gives me all that he is and has.
What a great exchange!
This is exactly what takes place in our hearts when we surrender our hearts and lives to Jesus. He IS our bridegroom. We give Him our sin and unrighteousness, He gives us His Life and His righteousness. Now that is a GREAT EXCHANGE!
God made Jesus who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2Cor 5:21 NAS

The Message says it like this: God put the wrong on Jesus who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.

Here it is in the word on the street by Rob Lacey: God piled our mess on to the only innocent man ever to live. He gave him the death penalty for everything we'd messed up, for us to walk free. For us to use our new God-connection to start doing the right thing.

(Cool! I didn't know the word God-connection was in this version of the Bible! God Connection is one of my group coaching venues that I offer)

"Oh Holy Bride, how beautiful are you when you come to Jeus with nothing of your own. (He accepts you not on what you have to bring, or even on who you are, but because He loves you and gave His life for you.) The Bridegroom will be more than pleased with youw hen He sees you cothed in His beauty (alone). There will be no limit to His love for you, becuase you are clothes in His Holiness."
Let Go by Fenelon pg 72.

Wow, He really LOVES me!!!! :)

Coaching is dynamic!

2009-04-17T15:26:00.001-04:00

As a spiritual growth coach, I partner with women to discover how their unique desgin can unleash a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. I do that through assessments, exercises and approaches that fit their stage of life, calling and spiritual temperment. I offer individual coaching, small group opportunities, such as God Connection and half day mini-retreats as well as speak at larger venues, such as women's church retreats. I ask powerful questions that help women process what's going on in their spiritual life and motivate them to draw closer to God and experience Him more deeply.
If you are interested, check out my website: www.closerstill.org

The White Stone

2009-03-25T08:11:00.002-04:00

In Revelation 2:17 Jesus tells us He will give each of us a white stone with a new name that only He knows on it. Today I was reading a Lenten devotional that talked about that. It said, "He knows what my name should be, how His grace has marked me in such a way to reveal His glory. He knows what name will clearly picture who I am and who I belong to. He names us out of His love. He will put the stone in my hand and I will know, from my naming, how much He has loved me all along."
I just love that. I had asked God a while ago if He would be willing to share with me His white stone name for me . . . and He did! I have never liked my name because it often gets mispronounced and misspelled so to have a new name thrilled me. It is His special name for me, so special that I don't want to share it here, it is too personal. BUT I encourage you to ask God the same, ask if He will share His white stone name for you. And then ponder it, ask about its meaning. As I read this devotional today, He gave me even further insight into the meaning of my name and it was exactly what I needed to hear in this season of my life.
I promise, you WILL be blessed, if you listen closely to His whispers to you.

Hard times

2009-03-11T09:56:00.005-04:00

How many of us are struggling in some way, shape or form with difficulties today? My neck and shoulders have been bothering me since my bumpy 4 hour trip to Ghamba in Kenya. That was Novemeber 2008, almost 4 months ago. I keep thinking if I just wait long enough, it will get better. I pray for God to heal me and nothing changes. Finally I went to physical therapy yesterday and a shred of hope is dawning even as I do my exercises and sometimes the pain increases. Then I think about those I know personally who are enduring so much worse: my friend who endures excruiating back pain, my friend who is dealing with returning cancer. God gave me an encouraging word today as I seek to do the hard work of pressing through my difficulties as opposed to praying for Him to just take them away.
"Hold fast, My child, for in the hour of anguish, then shall you walk in victory. Do not pray to be brought out of the fire until after you have found Me real in the midst of it. The coward seeks release from the pressure. The courageous pray for strength to overcome."
Daniel 3:27 And the princes, governors, and captains, and the king's counsellors, being gathered together, saw these men, upon whose bodies the fire had no power, nor was an hair of their head singed, neither were their coats changed, nor the smell of fire had passed on them.
Father, give me courage to pray for Your strength to be strong when I am weak and to remain where I am until I have found YOU in the midst of the difficulty. Thank you that You ARE here with me and only want me to cling to YOU!
(from Come Away My Beloved: 365 One Minute Meditations)

photo credit: Ernest von Rosen, www.amgmedia.com
(Notice the cross in the middle of the fire!!!! How cool is that!)

PS:Whenever my pain annoys me, I take that as God reminding me to pray for my two friends that are in a harder place than me. This gives some value to my pain and takes my focus off of me. Thus in some unusual way, my pain has become a gift.

The Invisible Mother

2009-02-23T17:23:00.001-05:00

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the
way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and
ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on
the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or
sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because
no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I
am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie
this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a
clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What
number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30,
please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude
-but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen
again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a
friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip,
and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting
there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was
hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty
pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package,
and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of
Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it t o me until I read
her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of
what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great
cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their
whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great
sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was
fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny
bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are
you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be
covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied,
'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see
the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake
you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are
building a g reat cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will
become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is
not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of
my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn
pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As
one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The
writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever
be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4
in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a
turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would
mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want
to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend,
to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're
doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will
marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been
added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

I got this from a friend in an email; no idea who wrote it but it spoke truth and encouragement to me as a Mom and I hope it does to you too.

Faith and Love

2009-02-18T15:52:00.002-05:00

I just started reading Tozer's Knowledge of the Holy. He lays out a good case for God being incomprehesible and then asks "How can we know an incomprehesible God?" He answers boldly, "Through Jesus."
"In Christ and by Christ, God effects complete self-disclosure, although He shows Himself not to reason but to faith and love. Faith is the organ of knowledge and love an organ of experience. God came to us in the incarnation; in atonement He reconciled us to Himself and by faith and love we enter and lay hold of Him." p.14
"God can be known by the soul in tender personal experience while remaining infinitely aloof from the curious eyes of reason." p.15
I love this! Knowledge is important so that we can know what God says about Himself in His Word but it alone is not enough. We come to love God through experiencing Him. We can know alot about Him and still not love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Transformation happens experientially and relationally. As we relate to God and experience Him, we come to love Him more and more and are transformed by His Presence within us.

My thoughts exactly!

2009-02-15T17:04:00.002-05:00

I came across this prayer this past week in two entirely different books! I love it when God highlights something He wants me to see or know like that! This really spoke to me the first time I read it and every time after that.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road through I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
(Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton)
Amen and amen!

God Hunt: Edition 2

2009-02-12T15:15:00.002-05:00

God has a sense of humor, don't you think? If you look at my post from July 7th, you'll notice I reference a "fellow life coach." Today I actually met her, on the phone! I was introduced to her blog through a friend, Kelly Angell, who knew and loved her and thought I would too. That was in October of 2007. Today I finally emailed her directly and we wound up chatting on the phone for an hour! She is a lovely and gracious woman who I feel privileged to know and is now the first "official follower" of my blog(she even helped me set it up which turned out to be a lengthy ordeal, was she ever patient!). I encourage you to go to her blog and check out the wisdom she shares. That is where I got my first exposure to the "God Hunt" and she often has very thought provoking posts. Thanks Kathryn for sharing your wisdom, musings and heart with all of us!

By the way, I've recommitted to updating my blog at least monthly so check back again. I promise I won't wait 5 months again!

Is it already September???

2008-09-13T14:10:00.009-04:00

Can't believe how fast the months are flying by! Here are some new pixs of the grandkids.

Melissa and the girls came for Labor Day visit and we had a fantastic time with them. The girls are the cutest! Kynleigh is 5 years old, Kaelyn is 4 and Peyton just turned one!

The triplets are almost three and so much fun! All so different! Aren't they an adorable family? Jenni and Scott have their hands full but do a fantastic job with Eli, Ali and Tegan.

Aimee and Justin's four girls are growing up! Ellie is 9, Bella is 7, Alexandra is 4 and Olivia just turned 1! I miss all my grandchildren!

Another doe sighting!

2008-07-10T17:51:00.002-04:00

Some of you were wondering if the picture I posted of the doe was actually her. The answer is . . . no, sorry. I did not have time to run back to the house, get my camera and run back and hope she would still be there. BUT the good news is she appeared again this afternoon, around 3:30PM in my backyard this time, in the middle of the day, go figure! This time I grabbed my camera and took two quick pixs of her (while I was on the phone to my lifecoach discussing homework, so I was a bit limited as to how many I could take). Here she is! What are the chances I would see her again so soon? Of course this morning I did take some old moldy bread and put it on several tree stumps down near where I saw her before and when I checked after she left this afternoon, ALL the bread was gone! I think I have a friend for life!

A God Hunt

2008-07-07T16:54:00.002-04:00

A few weeks ago I ran across a fellow lifecoach's blog that shared how she had gone on a "God Hunt" to see where she saw God in her day. I liked the idea and have been trying to remember to intentionally look for Him throughout my day and to record in my journal whenever I had a "God Find." The last few days I've not been paying so much attention to this, so today during my morning time with God I told Him I wanted "eyes to see and ears to hear Him."

A little while later (it was @ 9:40 AM by now), I decided to walk my "greens" out to the compost pile. As I approached the area in the back of our yard where we throw our compost, I looked up and at the same moment a doe looked up from where she was feeding on kudzu in a cleared part of our woods, but only 20 feet from where I stood. I think we startled each other and she jumped a few feet. I fully expected her to bound off into the woods but she just stood still, looking at me as if to say, "Are you dangerous? If not, I'll stay." I stood stock still, wanting her to stay and whispered, "I won't hurt you." She stared at me for another minute and then continued feeding on the greens closest to her, every now and then looking up at me to make sure I was safe.

We were just "together" for probably 3 or 4 minutes as she made her way slowly to the back part of the cleared area as she nibbled on leaves and bamboo. Finally she stepped behind a tree and began to make her way back into the woods until all I could see were her hind legs (that looked exactly like two little tree trunks). If it wasn't for the black stripe on her tail and the fact that I hadn't taken my eyes off of her the entire time, I would not have been able to spot her at all. Then, she took one step, and disappeared behind bits of bamboo and brush.
I put the watermelon rinds I was carrying on a tree stump as a sweet offering to let her know I appreciate dthe visit and in hopes that she would return and remember this was a "safe" place for her to feed.

I was amazed at this encounter with a deer so close to me and the timing of me walking out there just when the doe was there AND the fact that she did not run off when I startled her.
What was even more coincidental was the fact that this morning during my quiet time, I read a section called "Hawks" out of John Eldredge's new book Walking with God (which I absolutely am loving!). He spoke of a similar encounter with a hawk and how hawks, to him, symbolize God's presence, His freedom and beauty.
"The earth is the Lord's and everything in it. Psalm 24:1 God is speaking to us all the time. Sometimes He uses words. Other times He uses dreams. And He loves to use the everchanging, unfolding beauty, drama and presence of His creation." pg118

I wrote all this in my journal (BEFORE I saw the doe) and this as well: God speaks to John E. through His wonders in nature, just like He does to me! Thank you Papa-God for sharing Yourself through Your creation with us. It gives me eyes to see You more and more, everywhere, especially in Your creation! Not that I think they are You, just a symbol and that You are wild, untamable, fast, slow, free, lovely and so much more.

As I pondered what I had written just moments before my doe sighting/God Find, I thought, " How odd I would "happen" to read that in Walking with God this very morning. No, not odd, but how God!"

Go on your own God Hunt and just watch for how He might show up in Your day!

Spring is right around the corner!

2008-03-14T14:29:00.004-04:00

Today it is gently raining and all the plants are smiling, I can feel it! It has been way too long since I've written so here is a quick update. I've been busy facilitating my monthly Day Apart with God retreats and they are going very well. In August I plan to teach a course in Spiritual Formation that will run through May, can't wait, should be so exciting. My lifecoaching class is going great and I'm looking forward to the workshop in VA Bch at the beginning of April. Rob is still loving 410 Bridge,what he does and the people he works for.
Last month I traveled to Barb Bollman's in NC and we colead a retreat at her farm. It was lovely and of course was so fun to be with Barb. She and I are kindred spirits for sure. The farm is so quaint, I could stay there forever. I feel so blessed to be part of the Bollman "family." Thanks Barb for inviting me.
Of course I have to add some pixs of the grandkids or my blog would not be complete. They are the loves of my life (after Rob of course).

More pixs to come of the Lawson girls!!!

The Shack and other assorted news

2008-01-31T10:56:00.000-05:00

I've really been meaning to blog, but things get in the way . . . sooooo here's what I've been wanting to say.

First of all, one of the BEST books I read all year was The Shack by William P Young. If you haven't read it, you must, it is taking the world by storm. I will say the beginning is a bit hard to read through because of the horrific circumstances BUT it is so worth the read to get beyond that part to the incredible encounter Mack has with God. It is a life-changing novel! Run, don't walk, to your nearest bookstore. Check out the website too. www.theshackbook.com

*************************************************************************************
And now here is another website you might want to check out as well, nothing to do with the book but some really great music and photo's and thoughts to reflect on.

*************************************************************************************
Just have to share a few photo opportunities from the holidays:
from Aimee and Justin's

from Jenni and Scott's

from Melissa and Patrick's

and one from my birthday: We went to Maggiano's in Raleigh.

Differences

2008-01-01T10:29:00.000-05:00

Rob read this to me from Devotions for Men on the Go. I thought it was so humorous I would share it with you as a little Happy New Year "gift".

Loving the Fairer Sex
Here's a shocking news development: Men and women are drastically different from one another!

Consider these differences:

Nicknames: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra, and Rose go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra, and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and
John go out they will affectionately refer to each other as FatBoy, Godzilla,
Peanut-Head, and Useless.

Money: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn't want.

Bathrooms: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.

Arguments: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Offspring: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of short people living in the house.

We men have a tendency to become frustrated with the differences between us and the "fairer" sex. That's why God instructed us to treat our wives with love and understanding rather than impatience.
How do you typically respond when your wife does or says something you see as irrational, hypersensitive, or overly emotional? Do you become frustrated, or do you simply throw more love and understanding her way.

Jesus, give me the grace it takes to truly and unconditionally love the woman in my life!

What does Love at Christmas look like?

2007-12-21T09:07:00.000-05:00

If I speak in the tongues of Christmas materialism and greed but have not love, I am only a tinny Christmas song or an out-of-tune choir.

If I have the gift of knowing what Aunt Agatha will give me this year and can even understand last year's present, and if I have the faith that I won't get yet more socks and ties this year but have not love, I am nothing.

If I clear out the house and give everything to charity and my credit cards are snapped in half but have not love, what can I possibly gain?

Love is patient when the fourth store you've tried doesn't have a bottle garden.

Love is kind and lets the couple with only a few items go in front of you and your bulging shopping cart.

Love does not envy your friend who gets mega-presents from everybody.

Love does not boast about the expensive bike, the PlayStation 3, the TV, VCR, and computer your dad gave you.

Love does not attempt to out-buy, out-wrap, and out-give the rest of the family just to impress.

Love doesn't cut Aunt Flo off your Christmas card list because she forgot you last year.

Love is not self-seeking and leaves a copy of your Christmas list in every room of the house.

Love is not easily angered when the young girl at the checkout takes forever because she is just temporary staff.

Love doesn't keep remembering how many times your mom forgets you don't like Brussels sprouts.

Love does not delight in the commercial bandwagon but rejoices with the truth of a baby born in the stable.

Love always protects the family from Christmas hype.

Love always trusts that the hiding places for presents will remain secret for another year.

Love always hopes that this year more neighbors will drop in to your open house coffee morning.

Love always perseveres until the cards are written, the presents all bought, the shopping done, and the Christmas cake iced.

Toys may break, socks wear thin, but love never fails.

Where there is the feeling of the presents to guess their contents, and Mom going on about being good so Father Christmas will come, and searching through the cupboards to find your hidden presents, they will all stop.

For we think we know what we are getting, and we hope we know what we are getting, but when Christmas Day arrives, all will be revealed.

When I was a child, I talked with big wide-open eyes about Christmas, I thought that Christmas was all about me, I reasoned that Jesus should have been born more often. When I became an adult, I forgot the joy, wonder, and excitement of this special time.

Now we just hear about the angels, shepherds, and wise men; then we shall see them all the time. Now I know as much as the Bible says about the first Christmas; then I shall know just how many wise men there were and where they came from.

Now three things remain to be done:
- To have faith that the baby born in a stable is the Son of God.
- To hope that the true message of Christmas will not get discarded with the wrapping paper and unwanted gifts.
- And the most important, to have a love for others like the one that God has for us.

Copyright 2001 Claire Jordan (caleb@eurobell.co.uk).
Permission is granted to send this to others, but not for commercial purposes.
(Minor edits by GCFL.net)

This Christmas, There’s Room in the Inn for Mary and Joseph

2007-12-18T08:04:00.000-05:00

Travelodge, a British hotel chain, is promising a free night’s stay to couples named Mary and Joseph.

"The 'gift' of a free night's stay is to make up for the hotel industry not having any rooms left on Christmas Eve over 2,000 years ago when the original 'Mary and Joseph' had to settle for the night in a stable," the company says on its Web site.

The offer is good at any of the chain’s 322 hotels in the United Kingdom. Any couple able to show proof of identity will receive one free night in a family room. The offer is good from Christmas Eve to Jan. 5.

"We've had a lot of interest," hotel spokeswoman Shakila Ahmed told CNN. "I think people like the fact that it resonates with the Nativity story at a time when the actual meaning of Christmas often becomes forgotten in festive overkill."

from Focus on the Family

Enjoy the season!

2007-12-17T08:11:00.001-05:00

We hope you are having a wonderful preclude to Christmas . . . shopping, baking, wrapping, parties. But in the midst of all the hubbub and fun be sure to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and take some time to reflect on the reason we do all of that, in celebration of our Savior, Jesus Christ, the Messiah's birth. It's a huge birthday party and EVERYBODY gets presents!!!! Don't forget to give Jesus a present though, your heart, your time, your focus ... practice HIS Presence with you this season and take it into the new year with you. Do something for somebody else, somebody you don't even know!!! Start a new tradition and be sure to continue some of the old ones. Some of our tradtions is to give an ornament to each of the grandkids so that one day when they grow up and get married and leave home, they will have their own Christmas memories to take with them on their own Christmas tree. Why not add your favorite Christmas tradtion in the comments area, I'd love to hear them, really!!!!

We are celebrating Jesus's birth!

2007-12-15T19:29:00.000-05:00

Jesus is the Gift Ten Ways to Share the Heart of Jesus Is The Gift this Christmas For God so loved the world that He gave…. JOHN 3:16 NIV 1. Give the Gift of Encouragement. Instead of writing letters to Santa, have children write letters to someone who needs encouragement this Christmas. For example, soldiers, nursing home residents, or hospital patients. 2. Give the Gift of Hope. Adopt a needy family in your church or community. Bless them with Christmas presents or a special dinner. 3. Give the Gift of Joy. Find simple ways to bring a smile to someone’s face during the Christmas season. For example, pay for the car behind you at a drive-through. 4. Give the Gift of Kindness. Offer your time or energy to someone in need. Hang lights for an elderly neighbor or wrap presents for an overwhelmed new mom. 5. Give the Gift of Words. Speak words of affirmation and affection to your friends and family. Take time to write a special note in your Christmas cards. 6. Give the Gift of Faith. Read the Christmas story with your family. Talk about what Christ’s birth means for your lives today. 7. Give the Gift of Peace. In the midst of the hustle and bustle of the season, set aside one “silent night” to be at home. Light a fire, curl up with a cup of hot chocolate, and take a few moments to rest. 8. Give the Gift of Hospitality. Invite someone to your home who may not have family close by or host an open house for your neighbors. 9. Give the Gift of Time. Help nursing home residents write Christmas letters, offer to baby-sit so busy parents can go on a date, or spend a few hours at a shelter. 10. Give the Gift of Love. Whatever you do, ask God to help you reflect His heart and share the love that inspired Him to send us the very best gift of all. www.JesusistheGift.com

Bella- the movie

2007-10-27T17:40:00.001-04:00

Small picture but huge on impact. I saw Bella today and it was very emotional and touching. Had to drive a ways to see it because it is not in many movie theaters but it was so worth the drive. The story line is how two peoples crises affect one another and what true love looks like. It is not a romance film but it definitely is about love. I don't think you will regret going to see it. I give it a 5 star rating.

More Montana Pictures!

2007-10-24T18:55:00.001-04:00

This was what the house looked like when Rob arrived.

This was how much they accomplished in 28 days!

Rob and Gregg, a.k.a. Statler and Waldorf: the grummy old men that sat in the balcony on the Muppets.
Montana Mountains

Sunrise from the new house

Rob comes home tonight!

2007-10-16T14:18:00.001-04:00

Rob has been in Montana for a month helping his best buddy, Gregg Scott, from YWAM build his house! They have worked hard from a foundation with no slab to the point of being able to dry in the house. I know Rob is grateful to have had this incredible opportunity to serve his friend in such beauty. But we both are ready for him to be home as well. More pixs to come, Blogger is having issues with uploading pixs at the moment.

Triplets Turn Two Today!

2007-10-11T21:32:00.001-04:00

I got to be at their party last Sunday with lots of other friends and family. You can tell they got into their chocolate cupcakes,only the second in their lives, the first being on their first bday. Pacifers went by the wayside on Tuesday and they are actually doing pretty well without them! Aren't they adorable kids? Am I partial? Not at all!

Love this quote . . .

2007-09-28T17:00:00.000-04:00

"Brokeness and wounding do not occur in order to break human dignity but to open the heart so God can act." Martin Marty

Olivia Caroline Sept 11,2007 - 7lb 8oz, 20 inches

2007-09-24T16:21:00.001-04:00

Welcome to our world, Olivia!
Aimee and her girls
Sisters!
Jenni came with the triplets and we all went to the zoo,(well, Aimee and Olivia stayed home)lots of fun and lots of strollers.
Grandpa, Woogie and Miss Olivia

Spelling Bee?????

2007-09-21T22:38:00.000-04:00

Ok, tonight I decided to rent a little movie and relax and I chose Akeelah and the Bee, you know the spelling bee movie that's been out for a while and everybody was talking about. It was one of those I've always wanted to rent but you know, it just didn't sound THAT exciting, come on, a spelling bee movie????
Well, forget that, it was fabulous, now I don't want to build it up too much but it definitely is worth the rental fee. The message is great and you'll need a few tissues. It is one of those underdog movies (no, not like the DOG underdog, but like Rocky, you know, the boxer? Remember how you stood up at the end of the movie and cheered? Well, maybe you DIDN'T do that in the Rocky movie but I'm sure there is some movie out there that you did that for and you'll be cheering at the end of this one too. If you like The Rookie or Rudy or even Facing the Giants, you'll enjoy this one. Leave me a comment if you've seen it or watch it and tell me what YOU think!

Peyton Elisabeth is here!

2007-09-02T13:43:00.000-04:00

Our newest granddaughter, Peyton Elisabeth Angell arrived on Tuesday, August 28 at 11:50pm weighing 7lb 12oz and was 19 inches long. She is adorable, quiet,and has the cutest chubby cheeks. Mother and Baby are doing fine! Kynleigh and Kaelyn are loving having a new sister as you can see by the pictures. We are blessed to have this 9th addition to our grandchildren.

How to creatively handle a crisis

2007-08-18T10:12:00.000-04:00

I chose this picture because sometimes crisis can feel like the life is being squeezed out of us and our very lifeblood is pouring out just like these rocks look like they were formed by some intense pressure. However, Jesus reminded me that the way to life and the Kingdom of God is by the narrow way, thus a little pressure is someties good for us, in a round about way. Makes us more pliable in God's hands.

God used Psalm 84 to whisper encouragment to my heart: "When you walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of resfreshing springs where pools of blessing collect after the rains. No good thing will I withold from those who walk uprightly."
Doesn't this picture personify this verse? Intense pressure forms incredible beauty.

"Crises can be holy beginnings if we allow them. If we listen, we'll hear God calling from the tumult, as God spoke to Job from a whirlwind . . . Hope lies in braving the chaos and waiting calmly, with trust in the God who loves us. For if, like Dorothy (of Oz in the cyclone), we wait, we may find that God delivers us somewhere amazing - into a place vibrant with color and startling encounters with the soul.

In all those dark moments, O God, grant that I may understand that it is You who are painfully parting the fibers of my being in order to penetrate to the very marrow of my substance . . . quote by Teilhard de Chardin

"In the midst of pain and crisis, God is drawing us to wholeness.

"While a crisis is a summons into transformation, we must also recognize that it's an advent into an entanglement of feelings. Part of living a crisis creatively is identifying and understanding the feelings that come with it. Otherwise, we don't have a crisis, it has us."

excerpts from When the Heart Waits pp. 91-93

Frequently when I spent time with God in the morning, I will copy excerpts into my journal that speak to me. This morning, these are some that I found worthy of my journal. I find that God has me in a place where I need His personal Word to me daily, in order to rest in the shadow of His Almighty Presence. Today His Word spoke most deeply to that place inside that needs Him.

Psalm 16:7-11 (not in that order though b/c He spoke first and then I found my response to Him there also)

I will make know to you the path of life. In My Presence is fullness of joy; In My right hand there are pleasures forever.

My heart is glad and my flesh also will REST in HOPE.
I will bless You Lord b/c you have counseled me; indeed my mind instructs me in the night. I have set You continually before me; b/c You are at my right hand, I will NOT be shaken. You will not abandon me.

the waiting season

2007-08-02T10:53:00.000-04:00

As I find myself in this "waiting" season of life, Ephesians 1:9-12 expresses the desire of my heart. Will you pray this passage for me and Rob ..........

…ask God to fill us with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding…in order that we may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that we may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully give thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

Ahhhh . . . I feel better already.

When the Heart Waits

2007-07-18T16:47:00.000-04:00

I highly recommend When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd (Secret Life of Bees) It is helping me see that during this season of waiting there is a lot
the Lord is wanting to transform in me.

I'm seeing so much of my security is wrapped up in external,
temporary things (like having a job) that I'm not really trusting God and
thus I'm anxious. I never have considered myself a worrier, I've just
never been one! But now I'm starting to see some of my real self and that God
has me in a growth season to transform this in me. That excites me even
though it is painful. But there is something about pain with a purpose
that makes it so worthwhile and easier to embrace somehow.

Anyway I'm excited to see that God has something good for me during this
season of "active waiting".

De' ja` vue

2007-07-10T18:57:00.000-04:00

Ok this is sort of weird but I was just reviewing my other blog (http://ears-wide-open.blogspot.com/) [which is where I am posting the book I've written]. It has been a while since I've blogged there so as I was getting ready to add another post from my book, I read the last entry and I thought, "This is EXACTLY what I am going through now . . . again!" Even though I've know that, I didn't know how similar the feelings are now to what they were then in 1994. Guess that is why I journal, because I'm not that good at remembering exactly how I felt.

Here's what caught my eye: "Over the last few months, I feel like You (God) have pulled out many of my props, those “things” I trusted in to see us through. I know you want me to trust in You alone, not in our circumstances, believing that Your unfailing love will not forsake me or my household. Thank you for the lessons I am learning through all this. Replace my fear with trust in Your unfailing love. No matter what happens, I pray I will be able to praise You.

Prayer Point
Waiting on God, especially when He is silent, can be a very tough experience and yet, it can be a very rewarding time as well. To learn to trust Him we have to have those times when nothing seems to be happening. That is when we learn to exercise our faith. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.” Hebrews 11:1
Share your fears with God, fear of things that might happen or that might not happen. Then ask Him to show you that He is sufficient, no matter what."

So my own book is ministering to me all over again. I love that! I hope some of you will journey over to that blog and maybe something you read will minister to where you are as well. Let me know if it does by leaving a comment. Thanks.

Destin again!

2007-07-08T18:17:00.001-04:00

How blessed we are to have the use of Rob's dads condo in Destin. Makes going there more than once a year, totally affordable. Isn't God good?
Here's a snapshot of our trip.

Eli

Tegan

Ali

Buried in the Sand

Long Time, No Blog

2007-06-29T18:24:00.001-04:00

I feel so bad that I've abandoned my blog for the past few months but lots has been happening.

1. As of May 31, Rob is no longer with Heart for Africa. For several reasons, no one reason in particular, he felt it was best to resign. It is with sadness in our hearts that we are leaving but with peace and hope for whatever God has next for us pioneers! He told me it will be "Simply the Best with a capital B" !
so we are now in the praying and waiting mode. This is a bigger step of faith than we have ever taken (isn't that just like God to push us forward in our growth and dependence on Him?). If you know of the perfect job, let us know, we're open

2. My job with Heart for AFrica and HOW took a new direction and a more business-savvy person was needed so I stepped aside.

3. We have been blessed with several wonderful "free" beach trips.
*Sunset Beach, NC thanks to Pat and Jerry McInnes in May. We met Jenni and the triplets as well as Pat and Jer and had a great time. I took 400 pixs of Eli, Ali, Tegan and made an online photobook for Rob of the trip for his June 19th bday.

*June 1-10 to Destin, Fl with Aimee, Justin and the girls. So fun!

*July1-7 Bach to Destin with Jenni, Scott and the triplets.

4. Two new granddaughters in the cooker! Aimee and Melissa are both pregnant, due 6 days apart in September and both are having girls again! That makes 10 grandchildren (and only ONE boy, Eli!).

5. On April 25, our dear friend, Chip Kinnebrew, died due to a cycling accident. It is a terrible tragedy. He was cycling along the Tour de Georgia route down an extremely steep hill from the highest point in Georgia, Brasstown Bald, and went off the road and hit a rock wall. He suffered a cardiac arrest on the scene, had punctured lungs, broken neck and back vertabrae but eventually was revived. He was put on life support but never came out of the deep coma he was in. Once life support was removed, he died two hours later. We all feel God went ahead and took him home on that mountain. He will be missed by many. Please pray for his wife Ann and their four girls, Abby 25, Gwen 22, Alison 18, Kelsey 14.

6. I just returned from leading a Christian Women's Retreat in Wisconsin for several pastor's wives. My longtime friend, Debbie Millman, invited me to come. Our theme was Escape into the Arms of Love. We had a refreshing time away with God and enjoyed hearing His personal word to us individually in our hearts. Wisconsin is a beautiful state, lush, green fields and mountains, and the weather was cool so it was a wonderful experience for me. If you would like to book me for a retreat for your friends, I'd be glad to talk to you about it. Leave a comment!

7. It is raining now which is a welcome sight here in Georgia since we are in drought condtions so I have to go listen to the rain, one of my favorite sounds!

Amazing Grace

2007-03-17T16:34:00.000-04:00

Went to see this movie last night and LOVED it! Of course I love movies in England in this time period (18th century) but the story itself is what moved me. To watch the passion and dedication of William Wiberforce to persevere through years of rejection because he so strongly believed that God made all men in His image and all men have worth was inspiring. This peek into history is well worth the time and money to see this movie. Check out the trailer and more info at the official movie site at www.amazinggracemovie.com.

KIDS!!!!!

2007-02-09T09:51:00.000-05:00

Whichever side of motherhood you are on, this will ring true for you. I hope for all you moms out there with small kids or teenagers that are having a bad day will be encouraged!

Essay by Anna Quindlen

If not for the photographs, I might have a hard time
believing they ever existed. The pensive infant with
the swipe of dark bangs and the black button eyes of
a Raggedy Andy doll. The placid baby with the yello w
ringlets and the high piping voice. The sturdy toddler
with the lower lip that curled into an apostrophe
above her chin. ALL MY BABIES are gone now.

I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief.
I take great satisfaction in what I have today:
three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in
fast. Three people who read the same books I do and
have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me
in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar
jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who
need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who
want to keep their doors closed more than I like.

Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their
jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by
themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the
bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby
is buried deep within each, barely discernible
except through the unreliable haze of the past.

E verything in all the books I once pored over is
finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry
Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry
and sleeping through the night and early-childhood
education, all grown obsolete.

Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are,
they are battered, spotted, well used. But I
suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would
rise like memories.

What those books taught me, finally, and what the
women on the playground taught me, and the
well-meaning relations --what they taught me was
that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.
Raising children is presented at first as a
true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until
finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay.
No one knows anything. One child responds well to
positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a
stern voice and a timeout. One boy is toilet trained at 3, his brother at 4.

When my first child was born, parents were told to
put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not
choke on his own spit- up. By the time my last arrived,
babies were put down on their backs because of
research on sudden infant death syndrome.
To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then
soothing.

Eventually you must learn to trust yourself.
Eventually the research will follow.

I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr.
Brazelton's wonderful books on child development, in
which he describes three different sorts of infants:
average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a
sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month-old who did not
walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little
legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little
mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically
challenged? Was I insane?
Last year he went to China .
Next year h e goes to college. He can talk just fine.
He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too.
Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been
enshrined in the Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame.
The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad
language, mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell
off the bed.

The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The
nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The
day when the youngest came barreling out of the
classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I
responded, What did you get wrong?
(She insisted I include that.)
The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker
and then drove away without picking it up from the window.
(They all insisted I include that.)
I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the
first two seasons.

What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most
of us m ake while doing this. I did not live in the
moment enough. This is particularly clear now that
the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one
picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on
a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer
day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate,
and what we talked about, and how they sounded,
and how they looked when they slept that night. I
wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the
next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed.
I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a
little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't,
what was me and what was simply life. When they were
very small, I suppose I thought someday they would
become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I
suspect they simply grew into their true selves
because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back
off and le t them be.

The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense,
matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top.
And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the
three people I like best in the world, who have done
more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity.
That's what the books never told me. I was bound and
determined to learn from the experts.

It just took me a while to figure out who the
experts were...

Where in the world is Deitra?

2007-02-09T09:05:00.000-05:00

Ok, Ok, I know it has been too long since I posted BUT I have a good excuse. I am now employed! Working 20 hours a week (don't laugh, it takes a hour to get there, so it is more like 30 hours a week of my time) for Heart for Africa as the assistant to the President (sounds impressive doesn't it? Really I'm just a glorified administrative assistant, pick up the mail, do deposits, answer emails, you know the routine). But I have been busy getting in those extra two credits I lack for being qualified to get my social security check when I turn 65 (it IS a few years off,and I told Rob, "don't worry, honey, I WILL eventually work and get those credits in). And thus I haven't even told most people I know that I am a working girl now. To check out who I work for go to www.heartforafrica.org. Yes, it is the same group we have traveled to Africa with (duh!) and I do love it. I get to work alongside my husband which is fantastic AND still have time to go to my bible studies and mentor. So it is the best of both worlds. While you are at it, check out www.itsnotokaywithme.com and if you order this fantastic book, I will be the one who sends it to you (and you MAY even get a little personal note from me in the package, if I'm not behind that day). Also if you read this book, you will find out why we have signed on with this 501C3 group and love it. I recommend it, you won't be bored reading it THATS for SURE!

I KNOW Xmas is over BUT . . .

2007-01-18T01:57:00.000-05:00

Okay, some days i'm a little slow. I am just now getting around to reading this Xmas card from my buddy James Dobson. I have always looked forward to his Christmas stories and this one is no exception. I am posting it here in hopes that even though Christmas is past, you will take a moment and let the spirit of Xmas reside with you throughout the year or at least throughout January. Read on and experience a miracle as it unfolds.

************************************************************************************

Finally, one day that December, I had to tell her. Medically, we were beaten. The decision lay with God. She took it quietly, lying there, wasting away, only 23, and the mother of a year-old child. Eleanor Munro (the name has been changed) was a devout and courageous woman. She had red hair and had probably been rather pretty, but it was hard to tell anymore, she was that near to death from tuberculosis. She knew it now, she accepted it, and just asked for one thing.

"If I'm still alive on Christmas Eve," she said slowly, "I would like your promise that I can go home for Christmas."

It disturbed me. I knew she shouldn't go. The lower lobe of her right lung had a growing tubercular cavity in it, roughly one inch in diameter. She had what the doctors call open TB, and could spread the germs by coughing. But I made the promise and, frankly, I did so because I was sure she'd be dead before Christmas Eve. In the circumstances, it seemed little enough to do. And if I hadn't made it, I wouldn't be telling this story now.

Eleanor's husband had the disease when he returned to Nova Scotia from overseas service in World War II. It was a mild case and he didn't know he had it. Before it was detected and checked, they married. She caught the disease and had little immunity against it. It came on so fast and lodged in such a difficult place that it confounded every doctor who tried to help her.

To have a tubercular cavity in the lower lobe is rare. When they took her to the provincial sanitarium in Kentville, it quickly became obvious that the main problem was how to get at it. If it had been in the upper lobe, they could have performed an operation called thoracoplasty, which involves taking out some of the upper ribs to collapse the lobe, and put that area of the lung at rest. Unfortunately, this operation couldn't be used for the lower lobe because it would have meant removing some of the lower ribs, which her body needed for support, and in any case probably would not collapse the cavity.

With thoracoplasty ruled out, they tried a process called artificial pneumothorax, which employs needles to pump in air to force collapse of the lung through pressure. Although several attempts were made, this process didn't work because previous bouts of pleurisy had stuck the lung to the chest wall, and the air couldn't circulate.

Finally they considered a then-rare surgical procedure called psneumonectomy—taking out the entire lung—but rejected it because she was too sick to withstand surgery, and steadily getting worse. Their alternatives exhausted, they reluctantly listed her as a hopeless case and sent her back to her home hospital in Antigonish.

I was 31 then and I hadn't been there very long when she arrived. I graduated from Dalhousie University's medical school in 1942, joined the Royal Canadian Air Force, and then completed my training as an anaesthetist in Montreal once the war was over. A native of Sydney, N.S., I accepted a position with St. Martha's Hospital in Antigonish. I was to provide an anaesthesia service and take care of the medical needs of the students at two local colleges. I was also asked to look after a small TB annex at the hospital, a place for about 40 patients, most of them chronics with little or no hope of being cured. That's how Eleanor Munro came to be my patient in 1947.

She had weighed 125 pounds. She was down to 87 the first time I saw her. Her fever was high, fluctuating between 101 and 103 degrees. She was, and looked, very toxic. But she could still smile. That, I'll always remember. If you did her the slightest kindness, she'd smile.

Maybe that encouraged me. I don't know. But I did know then that I had to try to help her.

I first called Dr. I. Rabinovitch in Montreal because he was a top expert on the use of the then-new drug streptomycin. Early information was that, in certain circumstances, it might help cure TB. Dr. Rabinovitch told me the drug wasn't available. When I described the case he said he would advise against its use anyway. I then phoned a doctor in New York who was experimenting with a procedure called pneumoperitoneum.

Pneumoperitoneum consists of injecting needles into the peritoneal cavity to force in air and push the diaphragm up against the lung. If we could get pressure against that lower lobe, we could hope to force the TB cavity shut. If we could do that, nature would have a chance to close and heal the cavity by letting the sides grow together.

At the hospital, we considered the risks and decided we had to face them. The operation took place the day after my phone call. We pumped air into the peritoneal cavity, but it nearly killed her. It was obvious that the amount of air she could tolerate could in no way help. Every doctor in the room agreed we shouldn't try a second time. We were licked.

It was then that I told her medical science had gone as far as it could go. I explained why in detail and she appreciated it. She listened with a quiet dignity and an amazing resignation. I told her that her Creator now had the final verdict and that it would not necessarily be what either of us wanted, but would be the best for her under the circumstances. She nodded, and then exacted from me that promise.

Amazingly, she was still alive on Christmas Eve, but just barely. The cavity was still growing; her condition still worsening. But she held me to my promise and, with renewed doubts, I kept it. I told her not to hold her child and to wear a surgical mask if she was talking to anyone but her husband. His own case had given him immunity.

She promised and off she went by ambulance, wearing that smile I can't forget.

She came back to St. Martha's late Christmas Day, and she kept ebbing. No one could have watched her struggle without being deeply moved. Every day her condition grew just a bit worse, yet every day she clung to life. It went on, to our continued amazement, for weeks.

Toward the end of February she was down to or below 80 pounds; she couldn't eat—and new complications developed. She became nauseous, began to retch and vomit even without food in her stomach. I was stumped. I called in a senior medical consultant and when he examined her he was stumped too. But with a grin, almost facetiously, he asked me if I thought she could be pregnant.

I can still remember exactly how I felt: the suggestion was utterly ridiculous. Everything I knew about medicine added up to one conclusion: she was so ill, so weak that she couldn't possibly have conceived. Her body just wasn't up to it. Nevertheless I did take a pregnancy test—and to my astonishment it was positive. On the very outer frontier of life itself she now bore a second life within her. It was about as close to the impossible as you're ever likely to get, but it was true.

When I told her she smiled and sort of blushed.

Legally, medically, we could have taken that child through abortion because it imperilled a life that was already in jeopardy. At that time TB was the No. 1 medical reason for doing so. But we didn't do it. The patient and her husband were against it. We doctors at St. Martha's were against it, not only on religious grounds, but because we were certain the operation would kill her. Besides, she was so far gone, we were sure her body would reject the child anyway.

So we fed her intravenously, and watched her fight to sustain two lives in a body in which only some remarkable strength of character or divine intervention had allowed her to sustain even one.

The struggle went on for weeks, and never once did we alter our conviction that she was dying. And she kept her child. And then an incredible thing began to happen. By late March, 1948, I was confounded to find her temperature beginning to go down. For the first time we noted some improvement in her condition, and the improvement continued. She began to eat, and to gain weight. A chest x-ray showed that the growth of the TB cavity had stopped. Not long after, another x-ray showed that the diaphragm was pushing up against the lower lobe of her diseased lung to make room for the child she bore. Nature was doing exactly what we'd failed to do with pneumoperitoneum: it was pressing the sides of that deadly hole together. The child was saving the mother!

The child did save her. By the time it was born, a normal healthy baby, the TB cavity was closed. The mother was markedly better, so much better that we let her go home for good within a few months. Her smile had never been brighter.

I still find it hard to believe, and I've never heard of a comparable case since. I never discussed it with the young woman, even when she came in for checkups which confirmed the full return of good health. And never, until recently, have I cited the case publicly to make a point. The child didn't destroy its mother. It saved her. Call it the will of God, call it human love, call it the mystic quality of motherhood, the turning in upon herself to fight still more because she had still more to fight for, call it what you will: it happened. It doesn't matter if it never happens again. Indeed, it is not likely to happen again now that we have the drugs to cure tubercular cases like hers, but that's not the point. It happened, and it happened, I'm convinced, because there is a force in nature, a wisdom, a balance, a mystery beyond man's comprehension—and man should recognize and accept it.

If I need any convincing, that woman convinced me. I still wonder at what she did and at the unfathomable force it signifies. And I still remember with delight the Christmas cards she sent me for years. They were just ordinary cards, with the usual printed greetings and her name. But, to me, they were like monuments to a miracle of Christmas.1

* * * * * * * * * * *

What an amazing account of our heavenly Father's divine intervention! It's a strong reminder that God is always working His purposes and changing lives. This is the time of year when we celebrate one of the most important of those events, when "the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us" (John 1:14a, NIV) 2,000 years ago in a small Judean town. The apostle Paul describes that wonderful occasion in these terms: "When the time had fully come, God sent His Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons" (Galatians 4:4-5, NIV). Because of Jesus' birth—and His sinless life, His prophesied death and His glorious resurrection—those who put their trust in Him can look forward to an eternity with the God of the universe. Now that's a Christmas miracle!

May the Lord provide you and your family with constant reminders of His work in your lives—in big and small ways—this Christmas. I know that Shirley and I will be thanking Him for the faithful support so many of you have given this ministry. 2001 promises to be another challenging year for Focus, and we'd love to receive an encouraging word from you as the ministry comes to mind. You might also consider a small gift in support of our efforts, as the Lord leads. The donations we receive in December and January literally shape our outreach plans for the months that follow.

From our house to yours, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (and for you sticklers for detail who pointed out a year ago that the 21st century begins in 2001 rather than 2000, Happy New Millennium!). May the Christ-child's peace surround your hearts and homes. See you next year.

Sincerely,

James C. Dobson, Ph.D.

This letter may be reproduced without change and in its entirety for non-commercial and non-political purposes without prior permission from Focus on the Family.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 Joseph A. McDougall, as told to Douglas How, "How an Unborn Baby Saved Its Mother's Life," from Joe Wheeler, Christmas in My Heart, Vol. 9, (Colorado Springs, CO: Focus on the Family, 2000), pp. 167-174.

Christmas Icebreakers

2006-12-16T08:29:00.000-05:00

Christmas Tree Dilemna

2006-12-16T07:47:00.000-05:00

I never thought I'd be a fake tree type but last year after Christmas, we bought a nine foot tree with white lights for $30 (such a deal we couldn't pass it up, even if we only used it on our front porch or something like that!). However, I must admit I love this tree! We put it in our family room for our main tree this year. Here are the positives about a fake tree:
1. It goes up in a flash.
2. I don't have to put lights on it
3. You can move the branches to fit the ornaments where you want them to show up
4. The branches don't bend down under the weight of the heavier ornaments
5. I can "smell" the tree since I put out my Yankee Candle "Cedar Leaf Spruce" potpourri which smell even better and longer than any Frazier Fir we've ever bought
6. It's economical
7. No needle droppings!
8. Don't have to water it
9. No sap on your hands that you can't get off

So all in all I'm now PRO artificial tree!!!

EARS WIDE OPEN!

2006-12-05T21:50:00.000-05:00

If you'd like to read my book, Ears Wide Open:Hearing God's Voice in Your Everyday Life go to http://ears-wide-open.blogspot.com/ where you can read it in bite-sized posts. Sit back, relax and prepare to encounter GOD!!!

Best of the Best

2006-12-03T22:39:00.000-05:00

The Truth Comes Out is for anyone who had dealt with a difficult relationship in their life, especially family. Nancy's honest and vulnerable struggle to love the "unlovely" takes you through a spiritual transformation that only God could bring about . . . Nancy's changed heart. I found this to be not only highly interesting but helpful in learning how to have true empathy for those who you love but don't approve of their behavior. EXCELLENT READ!

*************************************************************************************

Gideon's Gift made me cry. I always try to read a Christmas novel around this time of year and have enjoyed two other books in Karen Kingbury's Red Glove Series, but this is the best yet! My eyes were opened to a segment of our society that we all ignore with either apathy or disgust, the homeless, and makes them "real" people that we care about . . . with a very touching ending. If you want to get in the true spirit of Christmas,it is a must read this season.
*************************************************************************************

EVERYONE needs to read this book! It's Not Okay with Me takes you on a roller coaster ride from 9/11 to the slums of Africa and will challenge you to your core. "Janine Maxwell owned one of the largest marketing companies in Canada that boasted a blue chip client list. Then on 9/11 she found herself trapped in New York City when all transportation in and out of the city stopped. She had to fight her way home to her family in Canada.
The world-changing events of that day became the catalyst that first sent Janine into a deep depression and later to the darkest parts of Africa in her search for the meaning of life. What happened next was a roller coaster ride from the board room to the streets of Africa where she found herself standing face to face with the AIDS pandemic and trying to understand what to do with 15 million orphans who are left in its wake. Her story is brutally honest and will take you straight to the heart of the issue of Africa's great need." from CBD website

I've said ITS NOT OKAY WITH ME! Read this book and let me know if it's not okay with you either!

Sunrises and Truth

2006-10-31T07:26:00.000-05:00

This morning as I came downstairs at 6:30am and made my cup of tea, I glanced outside at the sunrise. Now that daylight standard time has ended, it is actually beginning to get light out when I wake up. I had to go outside to see this gorgeous sunrise because it filled the sky with deep pinks and purples. After pausing a few moments to take it all in, I came inside to spend some time with God. I just happened to be on Psalm 19 which says: "The heavens are telling of the glory of God: and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands. Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night reveals knowledge." I thought about how often I look at the starry sky and think about God's glory but not much during the day, until this morning and I realized His sunrises and sunsets are beautiful paintings He gives to me everyday as a gift. Then I thought about how David who wrote that psalkm did nto know that the earth rotated around the sun and thought the exact opposite, that the sun rotated around the earth. To even consider such wasn't even anywhere on their radar because it looked like an impossibility (just put yourself in his shoes, er, sandels)and yet it is truth.
How often do I look at a situation and only see it from my one perspective and believe that that is the only way it is, the only truth? And yet the truth is often diametrically opposed to my perspective. I need to ask God for His perpsective more and more because He does know the real truth (He IS Truth) . . . His perspective is the only one I need to see from.
Lord, open my eyes to Your truth about myself, others and my circumstances today.

Vampire Christian

2006-10-12T15:56:00.000-04:00

I've been loving this new book Falling for God by Gary Moon and in it he quotes Dallas Willard, another of my favorite authors, who is describing the above. He states: "A vampire Christian is one who wants just enough of the blood of Christ to have eternal life but not the full transfusion that would make him into a new creature, living life in a perpetual state of "As you wish." (from Princess Bride, only doing whatever the Father wishes) Our desire to live as ruler in our own realms of influence gets in the way of our desire to live life in God's Kingdom. We willingly follow Jesus up to the cross and admire His love, but our false self resists following Him onto the cross and participating in His example of absolute surrender. Give us the fire insurance policy. Keep the Refiner's fire."

How often this describes me when I get in a comfortable place in my lifestyle. Not willing to make the sacrifices that God may be asking of me, because I fear death, but knowing that He will bring life out of my death. I had to think through the things I fear losing when I totally surrender and once I listed them, they lost a lot of their power. In my heart I DO want to surrender and have to ask God to give me His perspective of the joy beyond the Cross, so I will surrender to Him.
Think about whether or not you are a vampire Christian as you watch the Trick or Treaters in a few weeks.

A Great Quick Read.

2006-10-12T15:41:00.000-04:00

I loved this book as much as the first one: Dinner with a Perfect Stranger. Definitely worth your time to read it. Here's the summary:

What if a fascinating stranger knew you better than you know yourself?

When her husband comes home with a farfetched story about eating dinner with someone he believes to be Jesus, Mattie Cominsky thinks this may signal the end of her shaky marriage. Convinced that Nick is, at best, turning into a religious nut, the self-described agnostic hopes that a quick business trip will give her time to think things through.

On board the plane, Mattie strikes up a conversation with a fellow passenger. When she discovers their shared scorn for religion, she confides her frustration over her husband’s recent conversion. The stranger suggests that perhaps her husband isn’t seeking religion but true spiritual connection, an idea that prompts her to reflect on her own search for fulfillment.

As their conversation turns to issues of spiritual longing and deeper questions about the nature of God, Mattie finds herself increasingly drawn to this insightful stranger. But when the discussion unexpectedly turns personal, touching on things she’s never told anyone, Mattie is startled and disturbed. Who is this man who seems to peer straight into her soul?

Photo Shoot!

2006-10-06T09:45:00.000-04:00

While I was in Tennessee watching the girls for 10 days (while Aimee and Justin celebrated their 10th anniversary in Turks and Cacoas, I had fun with the camera while the girls posed for me. Here's a just brief result. Stay tuned for more!

Go see FACING THE GIANTS movie/Sept 29

2006-09-13T08:23:00.000-04:00

In his six years of coaching, Grant Taylor has never had a winning season. Even the hope of a new season is squelched when the best player on his Shiloh Eagles decides to transfer schools. After losing their first three games of the season, the coach discovers a group of fathers are plotting to have him fired. Combined with pressures at home, Coach Taylor has lost hope in his battle against fear and failure.

However, an unexpected challenge finds a purpose bigger than just victories. Daring to trust God to do the impossible, Coach Taylor and the Eagles discover how faith plays out on the field … and off.

With God, all things are possible …

Check out this amazing trailer at www.facingthegiants.com and then enter their website and see even more