Friday, August 28, 2015



In answering the question from Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice , Chapter 17 by Dallas Willard and Jan Johnson,  of “tell God who you want to be on the inside, reflecting the character of Christ”, here was my response from August 25, 2014…

I want to be like Jesus in that I can see past people’s outward behaviors to their hearts and see God’s image in them and call that forth or challenge it when necessary (like Jesus did the Pharisees or those judging the woman caught in adultery).

I want to be able to let people “go”, not force their decisions (like Jesus di with the rich young ruler, or the Father with the prodigal son) but wait with intention knowing God is working where I cannot see.

I want to live lightly and freely, trusting God in difficulties, hoping in Him, accessing His sufficient grace that is always available.

I want to accept my limitations, be willing to not have to be seen, heard, or valued by others because I know I am valued by God.

I want to be able to be corrected with grace and see it as a gift.

I want to be persistent, persevering in prayer when I don’t see any change.

I want to love others as God has loved me, accepting the person without accepting unhealthy behaviors.

I want to give up judging others and knowing only God can do that because only He knows their heart.

I want to return good for evil.

I want to love God as my first thing always.

I want to help people in a healthy way and lose my co-dependency.

I want to pray for people who annoy me instead of getting annoyed and see that they need a touch from Jesus in that place in them that annoys me. I want to ask myself, “How can I love this person in the next 10 seconds or 10 minutes?”

I want to learn how to listen like Jesus did and ask insightful questions that move people toward intention and change. I want to be lectio divina to people…reading them, reflecting on them, responding to them and then resting from trying to change them but realize God is the only One who can do that in them.


I want to be real, authentic, vulnerable and live from my true self. 

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Are you fasting from God or feasting on Him?



Lectio Divina on Psalm 23

No matter how dark the day, no matter what evil besets me, I don't have to cower in fear because You are right here with me, protecting my soul, comforting me if I will but turn to You in the moment. You fill me to overflowing with Yourself when I do turn to You. You allow me to feast on You when I am in a situation of "fasting"...nothing around me to eat or drink, nothing life-giving.

You honor me, treat me with honor always. Your Holy Spirit oil covers me head to toe. There are always a multitude of blessings from Your hand all around me in every situation, even the hard eucharisteos, if I will just look for them. For You are goodness personified and Your intentions toward me are deeply good always, no matter what comes my way.

Your love will not fail to pursue me all the days of my life! You have made a home in Your heart and in Heaven for me so I will always and forever experience You, now and for eternity. What joy to be with my Love constantly, for You are always available to fill my love tank with Your Perfect Self.

I love how You come alongside me when it's time to confront my own enemy, my shadow side. You show me that trying to meet my own need through pride, approval, acceptance by others is like fasting...it is like eating empty calories that taste good in the moment but do not nourish and so I'm hungry again for real food in minutes. Instead You invite me to feast on You - the One who fills to overflowing.

You desire me to die to my false self and awaken to my true self, the one who knows that only You hold true life for me. Doing things Your way and knowing You more and more is the real feast and walks me out of the shadowy valley of my shadow self.

When I come up against those who don't like me or for whatever reason make me feel insecure or just don't respond as I had hoped, You comfort my heart with Your love for me and speak truth to who I am - Yours - and that one truth alone gives me untold value and worth. You also remind me that my "enemy" has love deficit issues also, just like me, and is reacting out of those, and so You invite me to be kind and understanding toward them, praying for them to receive what they need from You in their moment of distress.

August 22, 2014

Sunday, August 02, 2015

Rich Wine

Son of God, sweeten the colorless common of our days into the deep sweet rich of You, like you sweetened the water into wine at Cana and turned this sinner into saint by Your blood...sweet as rich wine from plain and cheap into worthy and rich.

from my last years journal on this date from my sister's art journal...not sure who wrote this