Saturday, September 13, 2014

What's your dirt?

Why do I, like Peter, resist allowing You to wash my feet, Jesus? Because they are dirty and I don't want Your holiness touching my dirtiness...I"m too unclean and don't deserve Your touch, Your cleansing. Is that why I shy away from exposing, confessing my sin to You? I don't want to acknowledge my dirt because it makes me feel I have little value? But Your desire to wash my feet expresses enormous value for me . . . Your humility in offering to wash my feet blows me away and invites me to confess all my dirt so I have a clean window to see You through without my false self in the way.

One confession I have to make is thinking I  know how to respond to every situation without consulting You. I realize I would experience more of You if, in every situation, I paused and asked You for your wisdom and words and way for me.

Admitting my brokenness shatters the myth of my competence, but this shattering is like that of the alabaster jar at the feet of Jesus: it perfumes the whole house with the sweet aroma of wholehearted devotion, a grace fully received, and out of this comes wholeness. Wholeness is mine now because in my brokenness, Jesus completes me. Wholeness is not the absence of wounds but the fullness of Christ within our woundedness. Wholeness is brokenness owned and thereby healed. We can call our brokenness blessed and cherish it as the place where we most intimately know God and ourselves. from Transformed into Fire by Judith Hougen

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