Wednesday, March 08, 2006


For several years Rob and I end our evenings with the 3A's ritual.
They are: APOLOGY
First we ask each other, "Is there anything I need to apologize for?" You might think this would make for a very long goodnight. Actually what happens is that because we know we will be asking each other this question at bedtime, if either of us should have an "offense" during the day, we deal with it then to avoid a long, drawn out conversation at night. Sometimes we can even joke about it, "That is something you are going to have to apologize for tonight!" So we just go ahead and do it in the moment.
Secondly we give each other an affirmation based on either something we did or a character trait like "Thanks for doing the laundry today" or "You are such a good provider." This is great for me because my primary love language is affirmation. Because verbal affirmation does not come naturally to Rob, it is a daily opportunity for him to be reminded that I need this to feel loved. Of course he loves to be appreciated as well so it meets both our needs.
Thirdly, we add the affection piece, which can be anything from a quick kiss to a more expressive demonstration of our love.
Lastly we pray together, nothing long and involved but just a few words to the Lord of thanks for His love for us and a restful sleep. Often we take this opportunity to lift up a concern about something going on in our lives or someone we have a burden for. It is a great way to end our day together.
Although the 3 A's wasn't my own creation, (I have to commend Becky Terabassi for this positve idea), it has credited important deposits into our relationship account that have kept us connected and deepened our relationship in substanial ways.
Try it, you might just like it!

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