Confession and Petition

Abba,

The times I have sinned and been prideful or not truly lived into Your truth are so numerous, I am ashamed. I try to find You more and more throughout my day and yet forget time and time again as I turn to my own doings.

My sins and short-comings present me with a list of debts that I cannot pay for their number is astronomical. But thank You Jesus for canceling out my certificate of debt, nailing it to the cross; Your blood stamping in red, “paid in full; now and forever.”

Please continue to blot out in my life my corruptions and teach me to choose Your way over my own. I do not want the lustings of my mind to rule me. I want Your rule in my heart, mind, soul because that is where true freedom lies.

Thank You for not answering all of the prayers I pray, in the way I want or in my timing because I have asked from wrong motives or without wisdom. Continue to say “no” to any wrongful requests I ask You for but don’t let that keep me from praying. I want my prayers to align with Your desires, not just my own.

Purge me from every false desire, everything that in any way goes against You and Your rule.

I thank You for all Your wisdom and love toward me, even in Your acts of discipline, for Your refiner’s fire that purifies the gold by removing the dross, so You can see Your reflection in me.

The hardest trials are not the one’s You bring to me, for those are for my good and Your Glory but the ones that come from within when I seek my own way.

If You would give me the choice between living in pleasure and keeping my sins or have them burnt away with trial, I choose sanctified affliction. I trust You not only know best but that Your intentions toward me are deeply good.

Deliver me from every evil habit that seems okay to me, everything that dims the brightness of Your grace in me, anything that keeps me from delighting in Your Presence with me and making You my “first thing.”

I bless you, Abba, for having an intense desire to help me achieve the end for which You lovingly created me, for me to live into the person You originally intended me to be.

I adore You . . . as You wish.

This is my personal paraphrase of Confession and Petition found in The Valley of Vision: Puritan Prayers and Devotions.  Even though the original words are from the 1600’s, they speak anew to me with life for this age.

Invitation

As I was reading about Jesus cooking fish for the disciples after His resurrection, I asked Him, "What is Your invitation to me?"

• Come have breakfast with Me, everyday. Receive what I have prepared for you, sustainanace, meat and bread, manna for your soul. I've gone ahead of you and prepared it - it is waiting for your arrival.
• Look for me in surprising places, places you do'nt expect to see me, (yes, go on a God Hunt) and you'll be blessed.
• Leave your "work" to companion with Me throughout your day. You'll go back to your owkr but take little moments to be with me. I desire your presence with Me, your awareness of Me. That creates intimacy with me. Walking with Me is one of those times
• Lunch with Me too - it 's a good time to read "other" books that I can speak to you through that you might not have time for during your morning time with Me
• I want you to delight in Me, in My company with you. I will prepare moments and call you away to Me. Remember those are priority moments that will keep me as the first ting in your life.
• Eat small . . . let Me fill you to fullness.

Jesus, how I love You, love the way You always speak to me whenever I come to You and ask "what's up?" I pray I will come to You more throughout my day.

52 Books

Books I Read in 2011

Spiritual Mentoring                      Anderson and Reese

Her Daughter’s Dream                Francine Rivers

Preparing for Jesus                      Walter Wangerin

Dream, Visions, Prophecy           John Paul Jackson                on tape

Sarah’s Key                                Titiana de Rosnay

Epic                                             John Eldredge

Swan House                                Elizabeth Musser

Seeking God Together                 Alice Fryling

Romancing Miss Bonte’               Julie Gael                             on CD

Small As An Elephant                  J P Jacobson

Safe Haven                                  Nicolas Sparks

Snowflower and the Secret Fan  Lisa See                               on CD

The Time of My Life                    Patrick Swazey                   on CD

Reliving the Passion                     Walter Wangerin

Contemplating the Cross             Tricia Rhodes McCary

Jesus Calling                                Sarah Young                       6th time

Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand      Barbara Simonson

School of Essential Ingredients     Erica Bauermeister             on CD

Quiet in His Presence                   Jan Harris

The Mountain Between Us          Charles Martin

Hunger Games                             Suzanne Collins

Coming Home to Your True Self  Albert Haas

The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society  Shafer/Barrows

A Good Life                                 Robert Benson

The Beach Trees                           Karen White

Bel Canto                                     Ann Patchett                       on CD

Joy for Beginners                          Erica Bauermeister            

The Hawk and the Dove              Penelope Wilcock

One Summer                               David Baldacci

In Constant Prayer                       Robert Benson

Catching Fire                               Suzanne Collins                  on CD

Cloud of Unknowing                   Anonymous

A Tale of Three Kings                 Gene Edwards

The Touch                                   Randall Wallace

Mockingjay                                Suzanne Collins                  on CD

Searching for Eternity                  Elizabeth Musser

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality    Peter Scazzero

A Thousand Splendid Suns          K Hosseini

Life In Spite of Me                      Kristin Anderson

A Million Miles in 1000 Years     Donald Miller

One Thousand Gifts                    Ann Voskamp

Beautiful Boy                              David Sheff                          on CD

Still Alice                                    Lisa Genova                         on CD

Words Unspoken                       Elizabeth Musser

Lost December                          Richard Paul Evans

Promise Me                               Richard Paul Evans               on CD

Spiritual Disciplines Devotional Valerie Hess

Surprised by Oxford                  Carolyn Weber

Christ the Lord: Road to Cana   Anne Rice                            on CD

Home for Christmas                   Andrew Greenley

Preparing for Christmas              Richard Rohr

Language of Letting Go              Melody Beattie

Guest Post

This is a guest post by my friend Angela. She is sharing about her experience at my Advent Retreat. Deitra

Anticipation

Each year when Christmas is over I think about how much I wish I had been more focused on preparing my heart throughout the Advent season instead of getting caught up in all the crazy hustle and bustle that Christmas has become. The parties are great, the gift giving is nice and thoughtful, being with family is the best but through it all I feel like every year my thoughts are anything but centered around Christ and how the significance of his birth and entrance into this world can truly, continually change my life. So this year, instead of simply wishing my heart were more focused on Jesus, I decided to actually do something about it. This sweet lady, Deitra, has become a dear friend of mine throughout the last year and a half since I met her and have had the privilege to be mentored and receive some much needed spiritual direction from her.

Almost every month she holds day-long retreats at her house, each centered around a different theme. In July I signed up for her Advent retreat scheduled for the first week of December and eagerly anticipated this day, knowing that it would be just the springboard my heart would need to cultivate the deeper focus I long for. The day came and went and I was NOT disappointed. Every time I go to her house, whether for one of her retreats or for one of her study groups I used to be a part of, I ALWAYS come away refreshed and feeling closer to the Lord. I knew that God would have something special in store for me during this Advent retreat. He did! At the beginning she passed around a basket of rocks, each with a word written on it. We were instructed to pick a rock without looking at the word. My word was Anticipation. How ironic....as i was attempting to focus more on anticipating the coming of Christ while also anticipating the arrival of our second child. She gave us a folder of materials, showed us a stash of Advent related books, and set us free to go into any room in her home for some solitude. The first chapter of the book I chose to look at "just happened" to be titled Anticipation. Hmmmm....must be a concept I really need to unpack and contemplate. So i did just that for the next 3 hours. It was a beautiful, peaceful time that set the tone for the weeks remaining leading up to Jesus' birth. One of the pieces of material she gave us in our folder encouraged us to write a Cinquain: a simple structured form of poetry which encourages you to get to the heart of what you are experiencing in just a few words. I am no literary genius and certainly not anything close to a poet so I wondered what I might possibly come up with but decided to give this cinquain thing a try. It was to be 5 lines and there were instructions about how many words or how to structure the phrase for each specific line. I sat with my word (Anticipation) for quite a while, contemplating it and its special significance in my life write now as I prayed and read through my Bible and some other materials. I came up with a long list of words or phrases that came to me when I thought of Anticipation, and then I narrowed it all down into my Cinquain:

ANTICIPATION:
Peaceful Unhurried
Savoring, Beholding, Waiting
Eagerly Expect, Prayerfully Rejoice
Readiness

To you it may just be a mumble jumble of words, and that's ok. To me its a picture, a reminder of what I wanted these weeks leading up to Christmas to be like, as well as the weeks leading up to the arrival of the little one growing inside me.

Jesus is . . .

... my Savior and Lord.
...the way, the truth, the life.
...the light of the world.
...the only way to the Father.
...the door, gate, bread of life, true vine.
...Messiah.
...Son of God, Son of man.
...created everything alongside God.
...born of a virgin, crucified, died, buried, rose on third say, ascended to Heaven, sits at God's right hand, intercedes for me/us.
...canceled my certificate of debt, nailed it to the cross.
...forgives all my sin and sins, past, present, future.
...was/is sinless.
...exchanged His righteous robes for my unrighteous rags.
...is a propitiation for sin.
...is the Prince of Peace.
...is the sacrificial passover lamb.
...is my High Priest.
...was tempted like me but did not sin.
...is all and is in all.
...is the exact representation of God.
...is God in the flesh.
...learned obedience through the things he suffered.
...existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation.
...holds all thing (in creation) together.
...is the head of the church, His body.
...is the beginning.
...is first in everything.
...reconciled all things to Himself.
...is the Good News.
...fulfills the Law.
...proved He was the Son of God when He rose from the dead and ascended to Heaven never more to die.

Celebrate Jesus this Christmas for who He is!

Christmas Through the Eyes of a Bystander

So many strange occurrences in Bethlehem lately. First Herod decides to take a census but makes it difficult for everyone because He requires them to return to the city of their ancestors . Nothing like keeping his thumb of control on all of us "peasants." So there have been throngs of people flooding our sleepy little town. So many that the 'no vacancies' signs have been put in all the inn windows. Visitors had to scrounge around to find a place to lay their heads. Some even wound up sleeping in the stables with the livestock! At least they were out of the frosty dew that settled on those less fortunate.

A few nights ago I saw this spectacularly huge star in the sky. Some say it was a comet. It blazed across the dark night sky lighting up the heavens like no one has ever seen before. Then it seemed to linger on one particular place for several days, when as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone. The more superstitious of the townfolk said it was a sign from God, but what could a huge star mean?

About the same time, some shepherds from the outskirts of town rushed in with great excitement, sharing with everyone what they had experienced. Personally I think they were imbibing in too much wine, but they swear they heard the most glorious sound in the sky about same time as that star appeared. They saw ghostly images, hundreds of them. They "said" they were angels, supposedly telling them to visit a baby in a feeding trough. Now tell me, who in the world is crazy enough to believe you will find a baby in a stable, no less in an animal's feeding trough! But I guess those heavenly hosts were convincing enough because those shepherds left their flock (unheard of) and ran into town. Lo, and behold, after searching several stables they noticed that brilliant star shining down on a stable at the far end of town and when they arrived, there was a brand spanking new babe wrapped in some cloths and he was actually lying in a manger! The funny thing was that according to the angels,  this wasn't just any baby, but  this baby boy was the Messiah, the One Israel has been waiting for - the Savior - which I guess means the one who would save us from the evil rulership of King Herod and Rome. He's a mighty special baby if that is who he really is. But how strange that this would-be king was born in such a strange way and in such a strange place.

I'll be keeping my eye on this one - see how he grows up and what happens with him.  We sure could use a Savior right about now. But I'm guessin' I'll be having to wait a few years before we see any saving going on, since he's just a baby. I'm not sure what I believe, but those shepherds sure were convinced. Those angels made believers out of them for sure. I've never seen such a thing, but as they went back to their flocks, they were singing and even dancing a jig, big smiles on their faces as if something miraculous just took place. They were even praising the name of God, quite the contrary to what usually comes out of their mouths about God. Like I said, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what's gonna happen.

Hmm, I think there is a word for that - waiting to see what's to come - is it Advent?

You are blessed!

Luke 1:45
 You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what He said.

I have never seen that before, that Mary was blessed because she believed that God would do what He said He would do - the impossible! I've always thought Mary was blessed because she was the mother of Jesus and how that was unique only to her. Because of that she was elevated to a place I couldn't relate to. But now I see that we can all be as blessed as Mary if we will just believe God when He tells us He will do the impossible in our lives too!

But wait! We CAN be like Mary, a dwelling place for the Lord Jesus, not in our wombs but in our hearts. We need to say yes as Mary did to allow the Holy Spirit to come inside us and "impregnate" us with Jesus in our hearts as we first see our need for a Savior and invite Jesus into our hearts and as we daily surrender our will to the will of God. Thy Kingdom come! My Kingdom go! on THIS earth as it is in Heaven.

Ponder this as you journey s-l-o-w-l-y through this sacred Advent season.

His Colors

I am reading through my last year's journal and came upon this entry that once again spoke to my heart.  

You take for granted the beautiful, rich, vibrant colors of the autumn trees because you have seen them year after year for so many years. But think of the miracle that you are looking at! How can a green leaf on a tree actually turn a totally different color around the same time every year?  Not all trees turn the same color! There is an infinite variety of fall colors that I have created. You are viewing one of My gifts of beauty that reflects the beauty of who I AM.  Enjoy the colors because I created these just for your pleasure and delight. And to give you another way to know Me more. Never take Me or My Beauty for granted.  Romans 1:20 NLT Though everything God made, you can clearly see His invisible qualities, His eternal power and divine nature (in nature!). So no one has an excuse for not knowing God.  Here's another version:
The basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse. The Message

                           Enjoy God's glorious colors on display for us to see and delight in today!